Marriage: Trading Sex For Money?

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Look around you and study the factors that drive people to get their partners? Found a similar trend? This is what I'm going to talk about next!

          I agree that financial status and looks play important roles in determining the choice we make for life partners. But, one can run out of money and beauty fades with time. We all know this fact, but still, the majority of young men and women go for looks and money respectively. 

To What Extent Are Money and Looks Important?

             When women consider someone as life partners, we definitely pay importance to the financial security of a man. Most women say yes to a man who is able to provide food on the table and a shelter above the head. These are the basic needs in life. Apart from that, money is also needed to run a family, send kids to school, and have a decent standard of living.  It's hard to live without sufficient money in this world and the least a woman can do to take you as her partner is by considering a man's will to generate money to improve his living standard. I have had a man who isn't moving his ass to provide basic amenities so I know the pain of having an unsecured future in mind.

                 When men consider someone as life partners, they go for looks. I don't know about you reading this but I have seen so many of them putting looks on the top priority when it comes to choosing someone as their wife. Looks are important undeniably to be pleasant enough to the man's eyes and presentable to people addressing the woman as someone's wife. After all, men need some hot-looking girls to be introduced as their wives. This is how men and women basically think. 

What Happens When Looks and Money Overrule Love and Attitude?

                    So we know money and looks don't last. Attitude matters. The love for one's looks and money can die when the man runs out of money and the lady grows old which eventually fades her beauty. It looks pretty fake when someone falls in love with the money and looks. It's like cheating themselves. Marriage becomes like a union trading sex for wealth. As couples can't tolerate each others' attitudes, they tend to live for the sake of marriage or kids or worse separate and find their own way. 

                   Good-looking women are hard to please with as they need to be showered with gifts and treats all the time. They just don't seem to take part in their men's difficulties. Some men even degrade women and label them as someone who comes after money. So, ladies, money buys you and your looks? You sell your looks for money? Isn't turning out to be gross. It's no different than people selling sex for money! That makes us feel so cheap, isn't it?

Attitude Matters The Most

                    I feel it's essential to take time to get to know each other well and get to know their attitudes, their wants in life, and their compatibility with our character. There should always be a way to glue your relationship up when it feels shattering any time soon. A good look and money aren't going to bring you anywhere. The will to look for money and make yourself presentable and beautiful is the key to any successful relationship. Screw that money and looks aside. Appreciate your partners for who they are!

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Dream Father For My Children

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     Everyone has dreams of their big day with their Mr.Right and dream girl. The other half we have been in search of and the one who fits into our lives just like the missing jigsaw piece. I think I'd like to write my mind about what kind of father I want for my children.

I want a man who is a feminist,

Yes, you got that right and I mean it,

I need a man who respects women, acknowledges their ability and pays heed to the voice of women,

I need a man who could support what I do for a living and be an encouragement, 

not someone who shuns me away from being a working woman. 

I need a man of value,

I need someone who stands for his values and principles, 

Someone who isn't easily influenced,

Someone who doesn't forgo his values for globalization,

I need a man who could pass on these values to the children.

I need a man who is passionate,

A man who is into the things he is good at,

A human-activist,

A man who cares for the well-being of nature,

Someone whose passion is contagious and inspiring.

I need a man who is responsible for his life,

A man whose life is in order,

Whom I believe,

Only then can he make a good life for the family.

I need a man who can teach my children to be independent,

A man who can teach them to live without money,

Someone who could support their passion,

and acknowledges their ambition,

I need a man who doesn't make my children a spoil-brat.

     I need a man of my dream and I'm not compromising on that or settling for someone I less deserve. 

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Pain Is All We Need

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You and I,
We are all walking different paths of life,
Behind that smile of every stranger,
Lies an untold story,
Coloured with joy and tanned by sorrows.

Sometimes, pain is the bitter pill,
That we all need,
Never refuse to experience pain,
It's like an antidote,
Pain protects you, strengthens you,
and builds you to become who you are,
Pain leads you to your destiny.

If you are afraid of pain,
You will never learn,
If you are walking life without pain,
You are never strong,
Rise up from your pain,
Shine bright like the sun,
Stronger than ever!

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Abortion

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         I'm back to speak my mind up on this issue as promised! If you think I'm going to talk about why women should be allowed to make decisions on abortion, you are WRONG! I'm going to paint a picture for you to see what happens when unwanted pregnancies are continued, how bizarre can it be for mankind, and possible changes we all can do to restore civilization back into the society. 

         For most of the couples out there who have gone through an abortion, it could be one of the most painful and indelible experience ever. Having loved someone, getting intimate, and having a life coming as a result of the union of two lives are supposed to be events meant for celebration not hidden from everybody's knowledge. The thought of terminating life is somewhat traumatic for people who could feel the pain of it. It's a death call to the unborn. 

        The current scenario among my generation is pretty ugly and totally unethical. We can't deny that nothing much has been done to arrest the involvement of men and women, boys and girls from free-sex and sex out of wedlock. This is the PROBLEM we are facing! Neither could we find a solution to the problem nor accept abortion. Sex education introduced is to educate the younger generation on how to prevent having unsafe sex and getting sexually transmitted diseases (STD). It serves as proof that we can't stop men and women from being socially active and having sexual relationships. Hence, sexual education is hoped to stop the worse which are STD's and unwanted pregnancies from occurring. Sometime before, Malaysia came up with the idea of Baby Hatch to rescue babies who are thrown away by their parents. All these efforts by the government indirectly tell us that stopping sex out of wedlock is something not very feasible. 

            Why the abortion rate is high? 

1) Youths seek sexual relationships as a part of sexual pleasure. There is no love as bonding in their relationship. They are just purely having sex, not making love.

2) Sexual education may be a general guideline. There are A LOT of other things involved when you have sex. There is something called coitus-induced ovulation which would make a woman ovulate faster than predicted ovulation time. Our body reacts differently and our hormones respond at a different rate. It's all very subjective and each time you have sex, you increase the possibility of pregnancy. 

3) Women are more empowered and they just don't want to be solely taking responsibilities of the childlike those days. They too would want to have an easy way out like men, which I find sadly fair! 

          So we don't support abortion but we don't have the solutions either! Let me tell you what happens when unwanted pregnancies are not terminated. Before that, let me explain to you my stance on this issue. 

* I am not speaking in favour of men and women who sleeps around all the time and finds their partners or herself pregnant again and again. Abortion is definitely not the solution for them, they should be made sterile! 

* When I speak about seeing unwanted pregnancies, I see the FUTURE of the children and I'm speaking bearing this in mind.

1) A country with more quantity more no quality! Imagine if we were to blindly say that we don't want women aborting children in a heavily dense country. We would produce more people like Ram and friends who have taken the dignity and life of a young girl. To demonstrate loudly or make objection towards their senile act would NOT make many differences. Why? Because they are uneducated people from the slums where the quality of life is so poor. This is also why we saw continuous rape cases like the Punjab rape case after the New Dehli in India.

2) More broken families are formed. We need both parents together to nurture a child and shape his/her mind. Such a family institution serves as a proof of love for their children. We don't want to see a child with two biological parents, some step-mothers, and a few step-fathers! A child deserves the right to have all the basic needs to fulfilled and the ability to live life in an ideal environment, not just the right to be born. We often forget that when we are so engrossed opposing abortion, we don't look into the future of the child! At what gestation period can a foetus be called a human or is entitled to human rights? The failure of family institution is more prevalent in cases like Steubenville.

           So, some of you at this point may say that adoption could be the solution to this problem. Very much agreed. But, there is something to ponder upon. While we are rescuing the unborn child, there are already millions of parentless children all around the globe, LIVING life! And what have we done for them or have we ever thought of their welfare? So, you say don't abort but when the child is born, that's the end, everyone forgets about the future of the kid. Abortion sadly could mean we are trying to stop creating more problems for ourselves and save the children on earth instead. 

Now, I believe some of you feel helpless thinking about the direction of we humans are marching towards. We don't have the solution to the problem and we can't accept abortion. I believe we can make a difference but it will take at least another generation to see the effect. 

1) Each one of us should and must work towards forming a perfect or somewhat conducive environment for our children to live. We should educate our children on values, the emotional involvement of women and men in a sexual relationship, and being responsible for it. 

2) Practice gender equality when you are raising your children. Stop exhibiting practices or acts that give them the idea of one gender being superior to the other one. This would encourage them to have mutual respect for each other. 

I believe as a mother and father of your own children, you can shape them to become a better generation. Nobody can do this. Don't expect the government or school teachers. You have to make the changes. For that to happen, you should change! 

Having said all that I wanted to say, I hereby rest my case!

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Vote! Voice Out!

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Why Vote?

Fellow Malaysians,

          I choose to get my thoughts and views on this matter displayed as soon as possible even though there is one post on the pending list. The General Election (GE13) of Malaysia is around the corner and the parliament is expected to be dissolved any time upon announcement from Prime Minister. Well, we all know that the upcoming election has become the latest sensation. While some of us are eagerly awaiting to exercise our rights, some others are not even registered as voters and have not decided to vote yet. Why vote? 

1) Vote To Show What You Want 

         Some may be happy with what the government has done. You may feel that throughout the 5 years term, leaders have positively changed the lives of people in Malaysia and you feel these good-deeds have to be continued by the same leaders. Whereas others may feel disappointed with what's happening and they need a change and for that, they might feel candidates from the other party deserve the chance to show what they can do for the country! So, how is the voice of Malaysia going to be heard? Vote!! You need to appreciate the government and want to see them ruling again? Vote! You don't want to see them again for another 5 years? Vote!  

        

        If you are old enough to complain something isn't working for you, then you are definitely old enough to VOTE. Recall your age! 21 and above? Move your lazy ass and get yourself registered and turn up during the voting day! Don't complain if you didn't vote. You don't reserve that rights!

2) Each Vote Counts!

         Yes, each one of your votes, the MALAYSIAN reading this, counts!! You may think that one person not voting is not going to make any changes! Wrong! Each one of you needs to go and vote as the entire voice of Malaysia has to be heard and that's what justice is. After all, one vote is all it takes to decide the next 5 years of Malaysia! You may never know the outcome. Exercise your voting rights and show your responsibility towards the place you have been residing since the day of your birth! 

3) Fair Electoral Policies: Doesn't Matter 

         While we are thriving to have a clean and fair election, it is important to remember not to get emotional into the issue by choosing not to vote unless a clean election is guaranteed! I say vote no matter if the fair electoral policies are being enforced or not! I have to make this clear as I read a status on Facebook sometimes back saying he/she is not voting as he/she has the right to demand fair election. 

         Remember, changes happened even without the fair election sometime back, and this only serves to prove that each vote counts. So to those of you under the same impression, stop bickering and vote!

4) All Parties Loot!

           The reality is, like it or not, when someone is in power, apart from all the good things they do, they also take advantage of the position they are in. They will loot and sometimes get astray from their duties. It all happens. As the citizen, we have the power to also remind them that if they were to loot a little too much and do no good to people, then they will be toppled down next! Hence, the focus on serving the people and fulfilling the mandates will be ingrained in our leaders' minds. With that, we could see the Malaysia we want to see! 

Vote! You can make a difference! 

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That F,B and S Words In Between Sentences: It's Your Mantra?

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        So you think you are fucking cool to use the "fuck" word in between all fucking sentences and you think you can fucking scare the shit out of everyone? You think that fucking word is so fucking fantabulous and it adds force into your fucking emotions and expression? You think only you can fucking use it and it shows how fucking open-minded you are????

I'll show you why it's doesn't make you any fucking cool and fantastic!!

     Abusing someone doesn't mean you need to hurt than physically. Abusing someone is not just about raping or verbally ill-treating them with words like hardcore nut or a pig-headed fool. Abusing includes the word "fuck", "slut" and "bitch". None of these words I can find through my phone dictionary while typing and I've got to type word by word. So, even software knows it's derogatory, what makes you think you are the highest form of life if you are one of them using it?

     Three reasons why all forms of abusive natures should come to an end to kill discrimination and violence!

1.  Mind Your Words, It Reflects Who You Are

     What you say is what personifies yourself. We are so concern about cultivating a good attitude that would lift up our children's personality. Just like how you should watch your attitude, you should also watch what you say. Not only bad attitudes could stink, but also the foul words you use towards others. When you project positive attitudes, you get back the positive vibes from nature. So mind your language, make a difference in what and how you speak so others would respect you. 

2.  You Are Degrading Your Own Kind

     Women, you got to watch this out. Calling other women slut and bitch doesn't make you any greater than them. What makes you think that men should respect women when you yourself degrade other women? I have been reading some ungodly incidents on how cruel men can be towards women. While we are so furious blaming men for those incidents (you all know what incidents that have been shaking the world over and over again), why not make a change in the way we treat people and our own womenfolk!!

3.  It Adds Oil To Abusive Nature 

      The abusive nature of humankind doesn't emerge all of a sudden. The way a person who truly respects someone else as a person will watch what they say and how they behave. Even in the worst scenarios, their reflection of anger would be of low abusive nature. If one could be abusive verbally, then it doesn't take a long time for him/her to be physically abusive. Stop portraying a negative image of yourself, only then can you spread kindness and humanity. 

I believe you will be humane enough to treat another mankind the way you would want to be treated!! Stop the use of foul language. It really isn't cool!! 

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Rape: A Global Crime ?

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An Evergreen Topic!

           This post has been delayed a little bit. But, it's never late to post this now. Why? Cause I believe when I'm up late at this hour to write on something that has been awfully bothering me, someone out there somewhere is being a victim of animals for their insane sexual drive! That's pretty creepy, isn't it? 

              

              I was thinking that rape has been a part of the crimes in the East the most, places where women are still considered inferior to men. Steubenville has proven it wrong! That makes the situation even everywhere! Perhaps, are women really the weaker sex? Maybe yes, cause so many things have advanced but women are still complaining about gender discrimination and sexual abuse which don't seem to get any better over the years! Women's organization, Women's Day and so much more for women but nothing is helping much! 

             I feel rape will only stop when certain things really change and those changes are being enforced! It's not just about campaigns! Three things to make the lives of women less scary!

1) Heavy Penalty on Rapist

     Those who rape and subject women to sexual harassment should be heavily charged! I think labeling them as the rapist is not something inhumane. In fact, that's what they deserve. When people identify him as a rapist, that will be a life-long reminder to him for committing a sin that can never be forgiven. Why bother pitying the men when he has in fact did a lot of damage to the girl's life physically and emotionally. Isn't that very much intense compared to what he has to go through? People should seriously stop acting lame and stop seeking so-called justice in this issue. It is never justified to be only considering the future of the man while neglecting the condition of the victim. 

2) Change The Way of Upbringing Boys

       Stop telling your children that men as superior to women, men are the head of the family, women who wear a bikini top is a slut, and so on! You may not tell them directly, but what you tell your friends and how you react towards things will indirectly send them a message of what you think. Teach them about consent when it comes to sex. Sexual education alone is not sufficient. Explain to them about the importance of respecting women and their body, relationship, love and the emotional aspect of sex has towards men and women. Make your boys know the worth of love and love-making!

3) Make Your Girls Sensible and Independent 

      Steubenville's incident involves boys who are soccer players, who are seen as charming heroes and macho men! Change this perception in your girls' minds. Let them know that someone who plays guitar and soccer can't be a super-hero and there is nothing to be charmed about it. Educate them to be more mature in identifying the manly-traits in the person they like! Tell them not to settle for someone whom they don't deserve to be. Let them know it's essential to wait for the right one and having no boyfriend isn't a crime and she doesn't have to feel left out! Being with the wrong one is worse than being alone. Teach them to keep themselves expensive!     

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     I would definitely let my kids know about these! How about you?

Three Cups Of Tea: A Man With Unbroken Promise

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        The announcement of book-sale at my university has kept me so excited of getting another book to read on. As a non-fiction book lover, I used to enjoy reading book that educates and exposes me to new cultures especially stories that revolves the lives of Middle-Eastern society. It makes you feel you are physically there, transporting your soul to their society and make you live their life! So, while I was browsing through the stacks of books, I found Three Cups of Tea. And I was able to quickly remember the book as it was one of the books I have seen before. With a glance through the summary at the back of the book, I decided to have it home. 

         I have read many stories from Middle East, but this one particularly is a proof for how kindness without prejudice and discrimination succeeded in winning the heart of villagers from different culture all together. If you are someone who can appreciate a book and it's story without caring much about the style of writing and some crap book reviews you may find over the internet, then this book is WORTH a read!! I'll tell you why!!

1. Education: Empowering Women, The Architecture of A Society 

           What happens in this book is basically, Greg Mortenson, a mountaineer who was helped by mountain villagers in Pakistan. In return, he made a promise to build schools for them to eradicate poverty and improving education level of their children. Greg believes that educating women is as important as educating the boys as educated women will be able to lift the society's status and shape the mind of the young ones. The villagers, who are Muslims, were convinced with his effort and started to enrol their girls to schools. I was astonished with the fact that one man with a will to bring about changes has out-powered the ability of a country's government. The responsibility to educate children lies solely on the government of a country and that's where all the funding and effort should come from. But, beyond that, Greg has inspired lives of many young girls with the opportunity to have a balanced education. Educating girls changes the world. 

2. Kindness Wins Over Hatred 

          We all are well aware of the issues between the West and the Middle-East. While the social stigma of  the West and the Middle East hating each other still strongly prevails, Greg has proven that the act of kindness to people from any society will win the hatred and prejudice that marred their vision towards the goodness in people of other race. Greg was strongly opposed by some of his fellow countrymen when the World Trade Center was attacked, viewing his aid to people in Pakistan as an act of betrayal to his country whereas some of them do realise the importance of educating people in Pakistan which will lead to change of perception towards the West. It was also beautifully portrayed in the book how Muslims were also against terrorism and judging a society based on some of its people is truly atrocious. 

3. A Promise Never Broken

        Keeping one's word to do a small favour is fine. But building schools for a society without funding, that's WOW! I think, little would the people of Korphe expected that Greg would finally return to make schools for their children. Many mountaineers would have came and left Korphe with empty promises but the act of a man living up to his word is really inspiring and on top of that, how the schools have changed the lives of girls are magnificent and an eye-opening story!! 

Of all the things we can do for women, empowering them with education tops them all as that's the weapon against gender discrimination. 

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Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority?

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        Changazi told Mortenson how he squared his dalliances with his devotion to Islam. Heading to his mosque soon after another Inge or Aiko wandered into his sights, Changazi petitioned his mullah for permission to make a muthaa, or temporary marriage. The custom was still common in parts of Shiite Pakistan, for married men who might face intervals without the comfort of their wives, fighting in distant wars, or travelling on an extended trip. But Changazi had been granted a handful of muthaa already since the climbing season began in May. Better to sanctify the union, however short lived, in Allah's sight, Changazi cheerfully explained to Mortenson, than simply to have sex. 

        

           Mortenson asked if Balti women whose husbands were away could also be granted muthaa.

         "No, of course not," Changazi said, waggling his head at the naivete of Mortenson's question, before offering him a biscotti to dunk in his tea. 

...................................................................................................................................................................

         He told Mortenson how much he missed his wife, Rhokia. It had been nine years since he lost her in gaining their only child, Jahan. " She was very beautiful," he said,as they lay looking the Milky Way that was so dense it covered them like a shawl. "Her face was small like Jahan's, and she was always popping up laughing and singing, like a marmot." 

          "Will you marry again?'' Mortenson asked. 

         '' Oh, for me this is very easy," Twaha explained. One day I will be nurmadhar and already I have a lot of land. So far I don't love any other woman.'' He lowered his voice slyly. "But sometimes...I enjoy."

         " Can you do that without marrying?" Mortenson said. It was something I'd been curious since coming to Korphe, but had never felt confident enough to ask.

         " Yes, of course, " Twaha said. "With widows. We have many widows in Korphe."

Excerpt from ''Three Cups of Tea'' by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

*********************************************************************************

          Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority? Upon reading this book and hearing from a friend encountering similar situation have triggered this question on my mind! I have a friend who came to me saying that she was denied the rights to expect for affection from her partner as she should not be expecting for affection and it is something that's given out of his will, whenever he feels like doing it. 

          I'm not sure if this is a global mentality that has seeped into mankind long time ago or if it's just a social stigma pertaining some societies still, like people in the Middle East and conservative Indians all over the place. I can't say that men from the West are different as I can't judge what I don't know. What has baffled me badly is the total injustice imposed on women on the rights to exhibit sexual desires, even from their partners. Living in a society which has believed that woman should uphold modesty and decency has made things worst. Such way of thinking has indirectly given men the way out from all wrong-doings. It has somehow granted them to do what women has been prohibited from doing. Take the ever-undiminishing rape issues in India as the perfect example. Men has continued to violate women as they are wallowed by chauvinism and think they could get away easily from the crime, blaming the women for being out at the wrong time and dressing indecently. 

         Any unfortunate events that happen to women are solely their responsibility. What's more painful is some of them are even accused of enjoying the rape and not trying to fight the rape back. On the other hand, society has failed to realise that women, just like men, have sexual drives, as part of nature's way of ensuring continuity of mankind, a necessity in life. Ladies being subjected to blames of being bitchy and labelling them as women of low-morale are just another sad case that has eventually succumbed to pure injustice and violation of women-rights. What privilege do men have to get away from the same sins that women commit? 

         Romance is something both women and men have rights on and it is not a 'male-feeling'. A good relationship between man and wife is based on mutual understanding and fulfilment of each other's needs. That includes sexual desires too. 

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Are Women Really Celebrated?

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        Women's day on March 8th, another special day to appreciate women for all the roles they take in our lives, a day to express gratitude for their sacrifices made to shape our lives, and a day to acknowledge the abilities and achievements of womenfolk! But are they standing tall in all societies around the globe? Are women being given the same approval for their contributions everywhere? Are they really being celebrated?

      Men are men and they are treated the same way everywhere. But, the lives of women vary from one country to another. We all know that women have made a lot of contributions towards the progress of a nation and there are more to come. Yet, that's not all to show the transition of women's role from a house-maker to a ruler. While some ladies are enjoying the privilege of living life they want, millions of others are still being suppressed as the weaker sex all over the world. So what does this celebration of Women's Day for? 

        India has woken us all up with the gruesome incident that took an innocent girl's life away. One point that has to be taken into attention is the fact that the particular rape case was just an incident that could not escape the media's watchful eyes and hence became an issue, drawing attention worldwide. Even while this case was heavily debated and condemned, there were and still are men who are preying on women of all ages for their pathetic sexual satisfaction. What is saddening here is the series of similar unfortunate events that follow after the Dehli Gang-Rape serves as proof that the pressure of various organizations and demonstrations are NOT going to change these animals into men. 

         Segregation and injustice towards womenfolk take place in various forms and it happens most in the labor market. While in some nations women and men are treated equally, for instance, when I applied for a job opportunity for Shell, I noticed residence of Australia are not required to state their gender as this is a part of its policy to uphold equality, in some other places, employers are heavily bias and job opportunities are offered for males first. The ability of women and the importance of acknowledging their potentials are never being realized. Education is the key to change society and I believe educating women makes the effect significant as they raise their children who shape society later. 

         I believe as women take their role to be a mother, they should ALWAYS raise their sons to be respecting women and instill the value of gender equality so that ladies are not just viewed as second sex and sex objects but as a creation of God who is capable of anything that can be done by men in general. Again, women have the power to change how they are treated. It's all in our hands. ! Only then, women will be truly celebrated and there won't be a need to have a day dedicated just for us Women.

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Push The Limits Further !

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        Staying encouraged and determined to pursue something we have always been passionate about lifts our spirit high up. Nevertheless, as soon as you get hit down by hardship, the thoughts of giving up slowly poison the mind. How do we push the limits beyond to make it happen?

Be back with extended posts after my first job interview tomorrow!! Keeping fingers crossed!!

             Back to the blog! The interview went super well! Keeping fingers crossed for the results of it. Having a positive mind and thoughts are very vital in getting positive feedbacks from life. What you give life is what you get in return. Push the limits beyond and make things happen! 

Crave For What You Want

               When life gives you hundreds of hints your effort is failing, give life thousands of reasons why it should happen. Determination and willpower are one of the essential formulae of success in making dreams reality. We should tell ourselves that we should push the hardship behind and look at the opportunity that lies ahead. Look at the blessings in life and how fortunate we are as compared to those who are struggling for the basic needs of life. Make use of all you have in life, crave for what you want, think of it, concentrate on it, and make it happen! Seize the moment, it's the road to success. 

Make The Pain Worth It

              Whatever the circumstances are, be it good or bad, you should always remember: Let the past go but don't forget the lessons. You may have gone through real hell and came out of it, torn apart. Now, when things seem to get a little brighter, always remember, it took a great deal of hardship to learn something life ought to teach you. LEARN it now and never repeat history. Tell yourself that you should keep succeeding and keep moving forward to leave behind the dark past, far away. Double the dose of happiness in life to eradicate the pain you experienced. In that way, you win over the hardship and eventually get stronger than ever in life! 

Nothing Is Enough

            There's no limit for success and achievements. You should not surrender for something that you don't deserve. Go all the way while you still can and make your dreams happen. NEVER feel satisfied with what you have and where you are in life. Don't give in to those feelings of having enough in life. That will eventually inhibit your ability and imagination. Always take one bad event as a lesson for a lifetime and steer the wheel of life towards positivity, go, go and go!!

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Self-Help: The Best You Can Do For Yourself

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        Very often, during our tough times, we seek the help of those who are close to us. Families, friends, and life partners are one of those whom we always turn to for comfort. Of course, there is nothing like having a long talk with special ones in our lives to help us heal from within. Sometimes, sharing the dark side of our lives with the right person turns out to be a blessing as they will magically lift your life and set you back on track. Parents are the best person with such credibility to do this aid for ourselves as they could bring the best out of us even when we feel like the world has shattered. 

Please Help Yourself
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         What is the drawback of seeking help from others to heal us? When someone lends us their ears to our problems, we would often feel like sharing our emotions and thoughts with them. That person is someone that seems precious more than anything as they act as an immediate remedy to our sickly soul. Sooner than later, we seek happiness within them and we entrust them to make us feel complete. This would lead to dependency and eventually ends up in disappointment. Why? Because people don't live up to our expectations all the time. Like everything else, people change! So, the best medicine for your sorrow is self-help. Why so? 

1. Help Yourself Discover Your Strength 

             You will feel irritated and disappointed with people around you who pull themselves back from your issues and letting you deal with your odds on your own. First thing first, you should understand that nobody is ever obliged to help you overcome your problems. Help is something offered out of their own will and you can't expect everyone to be generously pumping in effort into our problems. Help yourself to do this as you will learn to keep yourself calm in the process, discovering what your strength is and ways to overcome such situations on your OWN. Many of us who have confronted difficulties in life discover our lesson at that point. Pain heals and teaches us something about ourselves like hidden talents. So, help yourself to identify what you are best at. That will give you peace of mind and happiness. 

2. Help Yourself To Be Independent 

             There can never be something as valuable as the ability to stand on your own foot. This is essential in today's world as this attributes to transform oneself into a stronger person. When you are finally able to depend on nothing but YOURSELF, you will learn the best of yourself and using it as a weapon to combat the negativity that pulls you down. Eventually, you will find yourself being more confident and independent in almost every other stuff you do on a daily basis. You no longer need someone to make you feel better all the time, nannying you when you feel sinking. 

3. Help Yourself To Combat Negativity 

            The need to rely on something to drift us away from one dark side of our past will lead to another dependency. Most often, this something will be unhealthy activities that lure us into a mess like alcohol or drug addiction. Some of us would go to the extent of projecting the frustration on people around us thus creating friction in relationships. There is no way of you finding yourself going towards a better life if you keep dwelling in negativity. That's the key to understand the whole issue. You can't only strengthen yourself by discovering and empowering the positive elements, by telling yourself that even this will pass and by BELIEVING life will be better. So, you should constantly remind yourself that you should think the good way for your life to change. 

              Of course, pain is the bitter pill to rediscover yourself. But, that's temporary. Once you have started materializing the plans to see yourself out of trouble, you will love the outcome and you will start loving positivity as an essential element in life! Self-help is the best. There is no other way out!

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Road To Forgiving People

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    Many of us would have gotten hurt. People would have wronged us in the past and it would have dramatically changed or affected our lives in some way we would never have ever imagined. It hurts us so badly we sometimes choose to hurt them back, plot evil revenge or harbour resentment or grudge against them. Somehow life goes on with each passing day and despite many things that life has to offer, we are entangled in the past, unwillingly choosing to dwell on the not-so-nice events in our lives and continue to hurt people who have made us feel miserable. We all know that trying to hurt someone constantly through our minds doesn't do any good and in fact, it makes us feel so negative about our lives. So we learn to let go.    

              

       Trying to let go of our past is actually one step closer to what we call the act of forgiving. With or without our realization, we tend to discard the grudge we had on the people in our past when we decide to let go of something. But that is not something very easy. Today, we see the good side of us, happily letting go of the past and some other day sooner or later when some event that is related to our bitter past hurts our emotions, we quickly shift back to the state of hurting them in our thoughts. Sometimes, this can be really torturous as we are travelling back and forth in the effort to move in. 

      So, forgiving is the way to be happy and project our lives ahead into positivity and the real challenge lies in materialising it. How is that even possible?

1) Make The Best Lesson Out Of Hurtful Events 

        You can't forgive someone so easily for what they have done to us. This is pretty common and it's normal to feel so. At the same time, you can't dwell on what has happened and refusing to see the goodness in life. One way someone would let the past go completely is when they have really moved on in life and achieved so much that when they look back to the road they have travelled, the events that have hurt them so badly do not touch their emotions any more. 

        Take this as a chance to really work hard to do what brings happiness into your life. Discover what are your life's desires and what you are good at. Make effort to turn your dreams into reality. Go as far as you can and embrace all the good things life has to offer. Never settle for something that is not satisfying your quest to dream and achieve. By doing this, you will give yourself a chance to say that you have turned a disastrous incident into a stepping-stone in your life and you will let go of your past and the people behind it. 

2) Discover Activities That Helps Combat Negativity

          In the midst of feeling so good about how your life is changing and being excited about it, sometimes you do fall back into the negative thoughts. If you don't do anything to combat these thoughts, it will eventually drag you in it for the rest of the day. So, as soon as you discover that something is pulling you back from feeling good about a brand new day, pause your work a while and quickly get yourself to do something that helps you combat negativity. It can be anything like hitting the gymnasium or reading self-empowerment book or meditating. Discover what helps you the most in times like this which will be the best remedy to get you back on track. 

3)  Leave It On Karma

          There will always be a constant need for revenge people who have wronged us. There is something called karma, or nature's way of serving people with what they deserve. We often neglect this fact and continue to take the responsibility of ensuring them getting punished for their deeds. One best relief we can get is by having faith that karma will do its work. Trust in God and tell yourself you don't have to burden yourself with resentment as nature has its way to deal with every good and bad people do to you, and vice versa. If you are lucky enough God will let you watch it! 

Let the past be the best teacher and plan the future with life's lessons. Good night everybody! Wake up to a better morning! 

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