Thappad: What does it take for a woman to be slapped by her husband?

If you want to know how exciting and awe inspiring, yet at the same time bewildering and frightening different cultures can be subscribe to this blog via email to get notified everytime a new post is published.

Taapsee Pannu delivered a though-provoking message through Thappad!
Image credit: Times of India

As I have cleared some of the works I had to complete on my to-do list, I decided to take a break yesterday and watch a nice movie. I love watching movies that have social messages embedded in them and hence, I picked Ponmagal Vanthal, in which the female lead fights against sexual harrasment and violence against girls. While I think that the movie is definitely above average, I think the social message wasn't sent across strongly. The movie could have portrayed how girls and boys should be taught to differentiate the good and the bad touch, and how boys should be raised to respect women. These elements could have been incorporated in the film.

So, while I still have the 7-day free trial on Amazon Prime Video, I decided to stream some other good movies, and Thappad came on the recommended list. I am someone who needs to know the storyline before I watch any movie. The plot I read on Wikipedia made me so curious I started watching the movie immediately.

As I am writing this post, I am watching the movie and it will end in about ten minutes. I love the dialogue delivery and I think the movie is impactful because it is well-written. So, the title of the movie means "slap", because the female lead who is homely, amicable and caring got hit real hard on the face in the midst of a family event as she was trying to calm her husband down in a heated argument with his bosses. She files for a divorce soon after, as her husband did not apologize for the incident and the families think problems "bound to happen", so she was expected to move on and make peace with the husband and family. 

I had to pen my thoughts immediately as we, Malaysians, have recently seen the popular YouTuber SuguPavithra's incident where her husband hit and tried to harm with a sickle in a hospital compound and how an Associate Professor was murdered by her husband who strangled her to death using a head scarf.

My immediate thought when all these issues surfaced was why is it always the womenfolk who get abused by men, usually the husbands? While I agree that there might be issues in the family and even in the movie I just watched, the man was having an argument with his bosses and the wife came to calm him down, but she got hit and not the men.

I think we all get angry and furious and it is alright to vent our frustrations out but why is it always women on the receiving end of the frustrations? Men don't slap men in arguments. Women don't do that either in most cases. 

In the current world, girls are given equal opportunity in terms of education and women now are working and having careers of their own more than ever before. We are free to choose our field of study, and the career path we think fits our life the best. We may get into heated up arguments with our parents but we do not get abused by the men in our households. So, why should women tolerate abusive partners and get hit once they are married and really, what does it take for women to be slapped by their husbands? What makes it absolutely necessary for a grown man to think that he has to hit his wife when her parents and siblings have not done that to her all her life? And why do families still wipe the whole incident under the carpet, and often say that they should move on, like in the movie Thappad?

I think we all don't even think of asking our partners if they slap or abuse others when they get angry because, come on, what a silly question that is! We assume that our partners would not do that until it actually happens and we let the reality sink in. While I think divorce shouldn't be the only solution to problems couples face, and that it is okay to give a chance for the one at the wrong end to repent, I feel that there should be a clear stand point made so that the victim does not get abused again.

What do you think about this post? I welcome your thoughts and views!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 

Subscribe to my blog here to be notified everytime a new post is published.

 

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Share this post around!

Because You Are Not Good Enough

Because You Are Not Good Enough

Ladies!! If you think you are happy with the way you are, grateful for the talents you have and believe that what's inside matters the most, the brilliant fashionistas are here to prove you wrong!

You are not good enough! - that's the tag line and the fashion statement of an apparel company that has invented thigh gap jeans for ladies. Yes, your thighs shouldn't touch when you wear your jeans. It's not feminine enough. It doesn't define beauty.

At "Thigh Gap" your jeans come with a small wooden stick that you can jam between your upper thighs to create a beautiful (read: painful) gap between your legs. And they're on sale for only $69.99!

Play this video to see this ridiculous idea for yourself. 

After all, we are living in an era where the modeling companies are trying to bring plus size models into the industry. Feminism is surely witnessing the impact of enforcing equality for women and accepting women in all sizes.

Thigh Gap

That is also a sign of modern women choosing to dress the way they want and stop giving a damn to the fashion industry.

Businesses are trying hard to dictate how we live life and they seem to be inventing crazy ideas to keep the oppression strong on our society. They surely know how to play the game pretty well.

On the other hand, what are we, as the consumers supposed to do? Dress the way we want and create or own fashion statement and identity for ourselves. That's the day we will see industries designing clothes according to our needs.

'Breast Ironing' In Cameroon To Avoid Rape and Delay Puberty

Mothers ‘iron’ daughters breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape

We all know that every society deals with its own issues of discrimination against women. We have societies dealing with rape in night clubs, child bride issues, the 'dowry' or 'wedding gift' custom, birth control and abortions. But in Cameroon, little girls go through hell in the name 'protection' by their very own mothers.

Rape and child pregnancies are very common in Cameroon and mothers over there decide to iron their girls' breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape. So, flat breast don't attract men! Meh! It is a new tradition due to sexual violence in Cameroon where girls will be forced to get their breasts ironed as early as 11. They would simply grab any objects, heat them up and press it on the girls' breasts. These girls cry so hard but all their mothers say is that it is for their 'own good'. Good? So, has the rape cases drop over the years? 

What happens to these girls as they grow up is horrifying as they develop diseases due to this practice. Some have cysts, some have infections and some have their breast looking extremely bad and non-symmetrical. The psychological disorder these girls develop is even worse. They grow up to feel bad about their appearance and the trauma remains in their heart, forever!

There a now a group of women activist with more than 10,000 members are now fighting for the younger generation and the campaign is showing positive results as the percentage of women affected by this practice has dropped to 12 from 25% in 2006.

It is obvious that we all should stay united in fighting for the rights of women and any form of injustice. Are you girls aware of what's going on around the world? Do they know how to protect themselves from men who sweet-talk? Do you teach them to become women who knows their worth? 

Do your part today. Let's do not let another generation of women to define their worth based on their looks or approval from men. 

 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

The Rise Of Plus Size Models

The Rise of Plus Size Models Is A Good Sign For Women

A few weeks back I came across a blog post from one of the modelling companies about plus size models. It was recruiting plus size models back then and I got the chance to learn more about ''plus size models''. The term was a whole new idea to me. I have never heard of a modelling company looking for women who are big.

Plus-size model is a term applied to a person who is engaged primarily in modeling plus-size clothing. They also engage in advertising photography for cosmetics and pharmaceutical products. The rise of the plus size models is a good sign of change in the way the society thinks and embraces people in general. 

The society in the previous years has defined beauty in a crude way. A woman has to be as thin as possible to be even 'considered' beautiful. We teach kids to think that way and they end up being so conscious about their weight instead of focusing on their health. Where do you think illnesses like bulimia and anorexia came from? The society puts pressure on young girls with their definition of beauty. We have been giving so much emphasis on people's physical appearance. We are so quick to judge someone by thinking that people who are obese just do not care about their health. 

In reality, your weight and health have very little to do with each other. You can be big and still healthier than a skinny person. You can also be big and unfit. Your health depends on your life style and it doesn't depend on your size. 

I'm happy to see little progress in the society we are living in right now and I think we are outliving the generation that has a very shallow understanding of beauty. With the rise of plus size models, we will have more women accepting themselves for who they are. The qualities one should have to become a model have been revamped and the definition of beauty is now not just entitled to extremely thin models who look 'unhealthy' most of the time but also to women with real curves and realistic bodies that come in all sizes. 

Over the time, the confidence level and how good a person is will be the new yardstick to measure the real beauty! We are progressively redefining beauty and we can be certain of that !


 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Writing Can Be Deadly!

Writing Can Be Suicidal

I am back as promised! Why writing can be suicidal? Well, if you are a fiction writer and you are writing about something doesn't exist in reality, that is completely fine because it involves nobody in the real world. But what if you are writing about something that is happening around you? About social issues and politics or even about your own thoughts and views on certain people or politicians? Now could you smell the possible danger arousing due to this?

I have been a member of Global Voice and I am very excited about it because it helps me lend bloggers and social media users a louder voice to highlight what they are saying collectively! Let's take the issue or news about who has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize recently. I'm sure many people across the world will be talking about this and voicing their opinion about the result. Some would or may say that Malala should have been awarded instead of the OPCW. What authors of Global Voices do is to summarise what people are saying about a particular issue.

Now, being an author on GV is as risky as being a blogger. While people may support the good deed  of exposing the truth, abolishing crime and terrorism; the ugly truth is nothing guarantees that we will be safe being a whistle blower. I will tell you why people don't get involved in social work that is 'risky' like this or may be sometimes it is a better option to just keep quiet and mind our own business.

Sometime ago, we had a case in Malaysia where someone was shot while he stopped at a traffic light. He is in charge of the My Watch movement which basically works as a whistle blower. R. Sanjeevan was a young man who was inspired to do something beneficial and transform the corrupted society into a better community. My Watch is about ten months old and has successfully revealed a few corrupted authorities. Guess what he got as the prize of it? He was shot after getting several threats by people and luckily survived but still suffering from the aftermath. Sanjeevan shared his story with a reporter lately that the movement is now dying as there is nobody to protect him or to support his fight for Malaysia. In fact, he also told that he has lost many friends after this incident as they were afraid of their own lives.

While I was reading this issue, I came across another updated blog post on one of the most popular blogs in Malaysia. It is written by someone with a blog name of  ''The Raged Indian". As I was reading this, I learned that he stayed away from blogging for quite sometime as he has received threats from some people as well since he writes a lot about social issues and influences thousands of Malaysian Indians particularly. He raised a very good question in his post too that made me think he was right. After all, if something happens to him, who will be at lost and who will come to defend him? It is still an unanswerable question isn't it?

Today, I came to know that Malala's book is out. It has been written by Malala with Christina Lamb as the contributor. She is an advocate for women and she got shot by the Talibans. When you do good in the public, you will be scrutinised heavily and then discriminated!. She was expected by some to win the Nobel Peace Prize but it was awarded to OPCW. I got goosebump while watching one of her interviews today and it made me feel so proud of her! It also explains the power we have as an individual and this is what I like the most. I think Malala's life has changed to reveal the real potential she acquires.

I feel that one doesn't need to be an activist in a global level. Anyone who is able to instill changes in another person's life is an activist. As we live in a dangerous world, it is better to start from below and act like the termites. Termites are small and eats your wood from within silently and you will only know when everything is totally destroyed; when the entire furniture comes crashing down on your head! Any social activist should be working like that so that you don't alert people in authority who is capable of bringing you down.

Like +BV Bharati said, it can be dangerous exposing the activities of people especially politicians. She has written an article about it earlier which can be viewed via this link. On the other hand, if you have not heard about author Jean Sasson, you can check it out here and see for yourself how she got into trouble by stalkers who file cases against her! She shares her experience with her reader at her website. She writes about life in the Middle East and I love reading her work!

Sharing what Jean says here:
For anyone who is considering writing a book, you might want to read my personal account of what it is like to be stalked, and, for that stalker to find attorneys willing to file a frivolous lawsuit. -- Jean


 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Unilever's AXE Is Axing Itself Hard!

That's Not Cool

I can't help it but to story you this agonizing act from Unilever's AXE. But before that, let me tell you what made me 'like' AXE Malaysia's page first and foremost. Well, AXE Malaysia had a contest to search for the next Malaysian astronaut and a Malaysian Indian lady was among the top 5 selected to contest for the final round. When I got to know about this, I was so excited and I told my mom and we were showing our support to the girl by voting for her every hour. The contest is now over and the official winner will be announced coming 24th. I spread the news to some of my friends on Facebook and guess what, not many actually replied or showed support. This is pretty much why I feel like not having Facebook because people are there just to stalk you and gossip behind your back but acts like they never knew you when you approach them on FB. Okay, let's just stop ranting about social media, which is not very social actually.

AXE is a brand by Unilever for men's hair care and body products. My question is, what are those women doing on AXE's advertisement when it is a product meant men. Of course they have one or two products for women too, but when it comes to men body spray, are we supposed to see men in the advertisement, aren't we? AXE has been using women, or I will say, exploiting women to promote their product and this has caused an uproar among the AXE Malaysia's Facebook page because we anticipating updates about the competition and all we get is their sexist,cheap promotional methods on Facebook page. I was one of the first ones to spark a debate about this on their page (hahaha :P). I saw many comments following that trashing AXE Malaysia. If you need to know what I'm talking about exactly, you need to go their page via this link and see for yourself.

Is That Picture Necessary?

By having videos and pictures like that, it simply sends a message that men has no brains and nothing much to attract women, so use good fragrances like this to get ladies. It doesn't matter how bad you smell from within, all you have to make sure is to smell good with AXE.
It also sends a message that indicates women are cheap and can be attracted with good fragrances. Watch this video.

Reaction From Potential Customers

What they expect out of their 'sexy' advert - Men and women going crazy about their products and keep giving them business. What is actually happening - They are losing more and more customers and probably because of people like me who is contributing to their loss, it will be even worse because due to the competition, many people all around the world are watching this page closely and their promotional method is suicidal now. People would be attracted to products and companies that have value and do good. Of course, in the business world, nothing is transparent but avoiding efforts to objectify women will save them in the long run.

Now, on the other hand, I think women who model for this product knowing that they are being objectified, are just plain dumb and have no social responsibilities at all. What are those employees for Unilever doing? Well, it is so sad to think we have to forgo social responsibilities at work because we are there just to earn money for living and not to argue for our values that we uphold.

I'm not saying women should be covered all the time or should not be given the choice to dress up. Bikini and modesty has very little correlation because we won't be able to change a man's mind to respect women just by changing our clothes. No, it is not that simple. Bikini is just a swimwear. You wear nightgown when you at bed and you do not roam around the city with that because that would be inappropriate. One should know his or her limits and behave accordingly. You will just know if what you are wearing is appropriate or not. What has to be changed is not bikinis but misusing them for advertisement purpose in a way that causes harm for women. Of course, for lingerie advertisements it will be fine.

Last but not least, if I ever have a boyfriend using AXE, I would be 'welcoming' him home with an axe. With that being said, ladies, you know what to do now ;)


I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Black Or White?What's Your Stance, America and India?

Is She Too Dark To Become Miss America?

It has been a week now since I last blogged. Today has been a fantastic day so far. I made it to the third round of interview after being interviewed by the director of GreenEnergy Worldwide for Malaysia. It feels good because I think it gives me a chance to be in an industry providing green energy solutions and eventually breaking the dependency on fossil fuel. I have also received a surprise e-mail today so it has been a great day so far and I'm thankful for that.

So getting back to the post today, I'm sure many of you are well-informed about the winner of Miss America 2013. Nina Davuluri was crowned as Miss America and she is the first Miss America from Indian descent. She is also the Miss New York 2013. America being one of the world's largest melting pot where people of different races and cultures embrace America as their home today took the world by surprise when some people made racist remarks on Twitter following her victory. What really amuses me is the fact that people have been calling her a Muslim and linking her with Al-Qaeda. Some people made themselves clowns by saying that she should have been chosen as Miss Africa. I think they must have missed their Geography lessons back in school, poor kids! 

This social backlash reminded me about the popular TV show, Celebrity Big Brother where we had a participant, the late Jade Goody with two others bullying the well-known actress in India, Shilpa Shetty for being an Indian. I think, generally when you cross your own border, you are a refugee and you just don't belong to where you are fully because people do not welcome ''foreigners'' wholeheartedly. 

Is it a crime being born with a dark complexion? What it really takes for a woman to become Miss America? Being blonde and white? I don't understand how people could choose Obama as their president and still be prejudicial. I am not referring to those who voted for Obama and choose to side Nina. I'm sure at least one out of those people who attacked Nina WOULD HAVE voted for Obama but when it comes an American Indian winning the pageant, they can't take it. I'm keen to know the probability of those people voting for a man different in race and heritage as their president. I think people react differently when it comes people who are successful and people who are about to unleash their talent. Before you actually achieve something solid and widely accepted, people would judge you based on colour, background and etc and discourage you every way they could. I don't understand how they could welcome Indians to come and work for Bill Gates but still deny their rights to contest in a beauty pageant. Those who made the ugly comments certainly forgot the fact that their place of birth is a colourful land with people from different roots contributing to its success today. In most countries today, majority of the citizens are not the native people. My ancestors were from India and they were brought to Malaysia during the British occupation. Our real native people are the Orang Asli which literally means "the native people" and America is no exception too.  

As an approved contributor for Global Voices, (I haven't contributed anything YET, and I have posts up there as drafts because I thought it will be good to observe what others post and how to protect myself if someone from my ''awesome'' government were to read my posts and accuse me of being a ''threat'' to the national harmony and security. Malaysia is getting funnier day by day so it is good to know how to save my ass before doing something) I observed a post from an Indian citizen and I thought she has pointed out great issues and Tweets from other netizens. 

I think Americans are way better because we will not see Nina Davuluri being crowned in the pageant if the organizers or judges were racists. It is just a part of the society that has a problem seeing an American-Indian winning the competition, may be because their favourite contestants lose the game! I think the issue is less severe in America than it is in India.

While reading the post from Global Voices, I realised that if Nina's parents chose to stay in India and raise their kids in India, Nina's chances of being crowned would have been a dream still. You can see the comments in the snapshot below and I feel it is true because we Indians(referring to the race) do not embrace our own people as we worship fair-skinned ladies and men more. 

Global Voices

At least, Nina prides herself in becoming Miss New York and Miss America but what do we see in the Indian film industry today? Actress Nandita Das is a dark-skinned, beautiful young lady and I have always admired her so much. Her message for this year's Women's Day is "Stay UNfair, Stay Beautiful". She and her career has been affected due to her dark complexion and she campaigns for the movement called Dark Is Beautiful. You can read about her further at her blog (and let me know if you think she is beautiful ;))

We all have our own issues to deal with and raising awareness is not just about me blogging about this and you reading but also about correcting the way people think and behave around you and making a change. Do your part in educating the society. By writing this, I will never be able to reach out to those who made insulting comments about Nina but if we continue to pass the message around, hopefully we can see gradual changes. 

Good night world!

 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Hudson's Sexist Remarks

Hudson's Stupidity Was Unbelievable

Today, my mother and I went to the local supermarket nearby to buy some groceries. We headed to the food department where they sell sweets and other junk food. I was looking for something to eat and I thought it was good to buy some snacks. I got some Cloud Nine chocolates while my mother was searching for sweets and that's when I saw Hudson's sweets. I have never really seen Hudson's sweets in packets before so I picked one of it up and flipped the packet! Guess what I saw?!

Hudson's #1

"When your little son asks you to show him how to make his own babies... Hudson's soothes life's little irritation."

Hudson's #2

" When you wife asks you if she looks fat in her new dress... Hudson's soothes life's little irritations "

Hudson's #3

 "When your boss asks your honest opinion about his new hairstyle... Hudson's soothes life's little irritations"

Hudson's at the Store

Hudson's and its nonsense!

Hudson's, you are not soothing life's little irritations, you are inducing frustration and irritations! 

I just can't understand what makes Hudson's feel so cool about its promotion or marketing method by incorporating such rubbish at its packaging. Obviously, this is not the only product that promotes wrong messages and supports movements that don't benefit mankind. I feel one of ways to stop discrimination is by boycotting products and businesses. That would create stress in their business and eventually force them to do stop monopolizing the market with marketing that has negative impacts on people. 

I stopped buying Gardenia bread we have over here when I knew it was taken over forcefully by some people using political influence. I will include Hudson's now in the list!

Updates:
I sent them a feedback. Let's see what will their response be. 

 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback