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Why Indian men? Some of you may ask. Because I have dated Indian men before so it's not justified to generalize it to all men, whom I don't know of. But, I know this criticism applies to men of other races too and if you are a non-Indian man reading this and you feel this post should be dedicated to you too, then this is for you too!
* When I say Indian men, it refers to the race, not the nationality.
* When I say Indian men, it refers to the race, not the nationality.
- Ego Bigger Than Their Brains
You may be more educated than him. Or have better sense than him. But, when he says the sun rises in the West and sets in the East, you should agree with him. Because he is a man and he is freaking right all the time.
Breaking an (any) Indian man's ego is like cracking a tough nut! Try telling one he is wrong at any point of his senseless talk, his ego gets upset and soon you can see his effort to intimidate you with his ugly hoarse voice!
2. Double Standards & Justice
Obedience and manners are something meant for women and it's solely their responsibility to uphold modesty all the time. Men can be out with any friends of his choice at any time of the day. Men can ogle at any girl they want and even tell that to their spouses. Indian men can sleep around with any woman because they are men, they need experience screwing up a girl to show that they are men enough to their wives.
Let his woman do that, instantly, she is labeled a slut and whore! Women are not supposed to talk about other men as this would instigate jealousy in them. Worse still, a widow is not supposed to remarry to support her children but a widower somehow finds a girl in replacement for marriage (and that too young, unmarried girl!!)
3. Wife, A Source of Income
Gone are those days where the man used to be the sole breadwinner of the family, the one who works hard to support the family financially! Shame on Indian men they are nothing more than leeches, draining their spouses' energy and income to run a family. Dowry is one dirty culture of Indians that still prevails to date. Man marries a woman just for the amount of wedding gift they get in return. The lesser they get, the more the beatings and swearings the girl has to face from the man's family.
On top of that, educated and working girls top any man's preference as these girls could bring a continuous source of income to the family. It could also be an excuse where they could rot at home all day long not moving their lazy asses to work!
4. They Need Smart But Stupid Wife
Indian men need wives who are intelligent and independent. A woman who is respected and someone who can impress a man's group of friends. She has to be smart in handling a family and professional job. She has to be beautiful like a Greek-goddess even if he looks like a duck! But she has to be stupid enough to put up with his extreme stupidity, fund his unnecessary expenses and good-for-nothing habits, agree to whatever decision he makes as the MAN of the house, and face the consequences that follow!
5. A Maid Unpaid
For most Indian families, when a girl gets married to a man, it's like getting married to his entire family. She is obliged to the decisions and critics the mother-in-law makes! She has to please not only him but the entire family! She has to do all the chores and housekeeping. All these for FREE!
Try complying with all these rules and regulations, you will still be labeled as a woman hard to handle :)
What do you think about this post? I welcome your thoughts and views!
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*gets ready*
ReplyDeleteBe back soon. Wait for it. :D
DeleteThat's quite a huge and sweeping statement! But yes, you have your right to express what you feel. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, sweeping statement for now. I'm yet to write you see. :)
DeleteEven if its a sweeping statement and I am a Indian man I have a general idea what you are going to discuss and if it is same as what u will write then I support on this even before you have written the blog
ReplyDeleteArunesh,
DeleteFrom your blog posts I can surely know you are not one of the "Indian" man I have on my mind!!
But, yeah just to ease my mind I might want to write on it and perhaps your guess is correct! :)
Thanks for the early feedback!
I agree with almost all of what you have said in your blog above and am absolutely disgusted and pained by such practices existing in the day and age BUT except for a few practices that is typical to asia in general and India in particular like dowry (in the middle east and among muslims in general they have what is called Meher, dowry in reverse where the man pays a certain sum to the woman for marrying her)and working like a maid for the entire family (which in all fairness is a practice that is fast disappearing thankfully)the rest of the characteristics that you find (most Indians too I would add) very disgusting is not limited to Indian men alone, I dare say. The degree may vary but to a large extent its a phenomenon one will find around the world, in one form or another. I for one would rebut as under:
ReplyDelete1.Ego Bigger Than Their Brains - Yes they have huge egos but to single them out I think would be most unfair. As for brains, they are second to none. I admit to being somewhat of an egoist. :)
2. Double Standards & Justice : Again found around the world in varying degrees. The double standards you mention is found most in a particular community which I would not like to name. I have found them to be the most hypocritical group of people in the world. I do not practice double standards and very focussed in the matter of true justice, like majority of my countrymen. :)
3. Wife, A Source of Income : Utterly deplorable practice found in some pockets but again cannot be generalised and cannot be singled out. I would rather die than being in such a situation.;)
4. They Need Smart But Stupid Wife: Yes true but a generalisation again. You will find any number of confident and self assured men without any inferiority complex here in India as anywhere else in the world.
5. A Maid Unpaid: This is one point I would agree with you the most. When a woman marries a man here, she is more likely than not marrying the whole family. This is once practice that has to change the most. It is fast changing in the urban and so called developed areas but still a fact of life in the villages and not so developed areas.
Finally, on reading your blog one thought bugged me constantly. Please do not mind me asking. I got the feeling that Someone or some people in your family, relations or friends have had bad experiences(?) in this matter or you may have come across many real life stories. Yes, these evils are there in the Indian society and things really need to change. Efforts are being made to change this and I sincerely hope sooner than later we become an equitable society who treat their other half as equals and with respect. But India is a huge country, with the unique distinction of being many countries within one country, if you look at the many states and Union territories, each having a unique language, many customs and cultures, and the country itself being a multi-cultural society of huge proportions.
We are trying our best to reform and banish the evils bedevilling our country but the these abhorrent traditions and customs brought about by the vested interests have been there for ages and it is difficult to cull them out and destroy them at one go. India is the largest democracy in the world and it has to take all its citizens belonging to different states, regions, cultures, religions and what have you along (including the vested interests among them) It will take time and things are changing most definitely; not as fast as we would like but we will get there, one day. :)
Eugene,
ReplyDelete1) I need to clear something up. My bad I didn't notice this earlier. When I say Indian men it doesn't refer to your countrymen alone. Indian not as in nationality but Indian race as a whole. I need to edit the post not to offend men from India.
2) Like I said earlier, I know it doesn't limit to Indian men alone and I'm pretty sure it fits men of other races too.
3) This is a generalisation where most or part of the Indian men would fit into it. Excluding some who aren't at all like what I have mentioned. :)
4) I'm sorry to have caused confusion as my post might seem to be directing towards men from your place alone. Well, I agree that efforts are being made not just in India but all over the place among we Indians because the discrimination against women still prevails no matter where the Indian community is.
I have to agree that the cultural diversity in India has made it difficult to bring about any changes nationwide!
And to answer your curiosity, we still see Malaysian Indian men who behaves such way. :)
Thank you for your rebuttals and you have made things clear about the status quo in India pertaining efforts made in changing the citizen's mindset.
Valuing your time reading my post! Many thanks!
You're welcome. Glad you brought up this important subject though the words "indian men" can be quite misleading. But you have cleared it and thank you for that. I belong to a country which though gained independence six decades ago, is still trying to come to grips with the invasion of the brown sahebs - our Indian masters who are even worse than our white skinned masters of yore. We have learnt the art of 'divide-and-rule' perfectly and the poor and uneducated people of my country who form more than 80% of our population are slowly being awakened through education and knowledge about their rights and responsibilities. The vested interests are so well entrenched that they would resist with all their might any attempt at changing the system for the better. A few years back, while working in the middle east, a local friend of mine asked me in a friendly yet sarcastic manner why India is so poor and why only so few Indians have cars. I replied that their country may or may not be visible from the space station but ours is quite visible and how! And I also told him we make our own vehicles and pretty much everything that we need in our country unlike theirs where even the water they drink has to be imported from other countries. Same for their vehicles which they import from outside. And the best point I put forth was that their whole country can at best be cover just a few districts in one of the small states of India. I was not trying to be deliberately sarcastic, belligerent or trying to boast but just stating a fact. I think he understood. Sorry about the long and perhaps unrelated rant. :)
ReplyDelete1) I'm glad I have cleared the misconception out.
Delete2) I feel the route to any changes among we Indians is the willingness to break the diversity in culture which divides its people to a great extent.
3) Lastly, I feel everything about a society or culture has its good and bad. So, we all should learn from each other. Take the good and ignore the bad.
Thank you very much again for your time Eugene!
I applaud your thoughts on the matter. The male subordination of the woman is all too real in many areas of the world.
ReplyDeleteHello Virginia, thank you very much for dropping by my post and I completely agree with that,I feel it would take done time for women to break free from these act of superiority and women have to voice out their opinions more often to make a change. Say no to all these ridiculous male ego to your partners
Delete