How Self-Love Helps Identify What Love Feels Like

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Self-Love Helps You Identify What Is Good For You
Imagc credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gemmabou/30331680058

    It's February 14th and the world is celebrating Valentine's Day. This year, we all probably could use more love than ever before as the world is still grappling with the pandemic and its aftermath. Many lost their livelihood, had their mental health at stake, and even lost their loved ones due to Covid-19. I think, today is also a day that reminds us how life is actually short, and that we all should make the most out of every occasion, as next year is not guaranteed for all.

    If you have been following my posts, in my previous post, I had mentioned briefly how invested I am in self-discovery and development books and programs, and how I stumbled upon a coaching program that assisted me in uncovering a lot of toxic traits and decade-long conditioning layered deep beneath the subconscious mind that I am trying to detangle.

    Throughout this journey, I have also learned how to trust my gut feelings better, and understand how to decipher negative feelings. I am certainly more aware of my thought processes and it sometimes baffles me how I get answers to things I am pondering on out of the blue. Getting introspective seems like a whole lot of joyful process as you learn to work on yourself by decoding the cues you get from the universe.

    One of the recent observations I gained includes the process of understanding what feels good and what doesn't, no matter how good things perceive to be. This includes understanding how people treat me, and what their motives are in general. Not so long ago, I used to fear connections a lot. I fear if people are good and I always wonder if I would be deceived. As a result, I have always distanced myself from truly forming new connections. One funny thing happened not too long ago and I think it would perfectly fit this post, to illustrate how fear can stop us from connecting with ourselves and others.

    I went to the shopping mall a few days ago to get an organic shampoo, when I was greeted by a salesperson, trying to direct me to the correct shelf. I was taken aback a little and I thought she was about to promote something I don't need. I quickly regained my awareness, and instead of being withdrawn, I connected with her genuinely. When we fear connection, we fear that we run the risk of being deceived by people, because we don't trust ourselves and our ability to decipher energies and vibes we get around people enough. 

    When you fear connection, you project low vibrational energy. If you would like to be loved, you should give love, and when you are operating from a state of fear, what you want and how you behave are not in alignment with one another, and therefore, you'd also be denied the love you need. I no longer fear connection as I pay attention to how people treat me and discard people I deem not genuine from my life. This is how we identify what love feels like and who fits our life the best.

    I had a fabulous day, and I hope this Valentine's Day was a great one for you too!

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Juggling Depression and Presence of Mind

Are you busy or productive?

What did you do today? Will they bring you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? #reflection

We all change, grow and evolve every single day. I made my mind that in 2019, I want to make some important life-changing decisions. However, until one month ago, I was unsure if I have all it takes to plunge into the uncertainties I would have to face as consequences to my decisions.

As time passes, and as I took time off for myself during my birthday trip, I learned to listen to myself, my instinct and my soul. What seemed to be blurry had begun to clear up.

I've gained the ability to train my mind to align with the soul and body. There are lesser depressed moments; as I was affected by depression not so long ago. I have reduced the times I need people's opinions or advices as I have started to use my instincts as the compass.

I've learned to chart my goals and visions; and relate them to the work I do everyday to actualise them.

What are your goals for 2019? Where are you now in attaining them?

My goals are financially freedom and happiness.

***

I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

New Year! New Hope ?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone who reads my blog! I'm back again for the year 2014 ! Sorry for not being around lately as it was holiday season and I chose to spend time with family. My new job has been keeping me occupied too. +Katie Cross I miss you too!! I have some plans for my blog this year.

Before that, what's your New Year resolution? I have been ranting about how the previous years were monstrous and demeaning in every way to my friends BUT 2013 was AWESOME! I still feel I'm living in the previous year, reluctant to move on. To me, New Year's day is just another. Your life should stay as awesome as it was in the previous years.

I have decided to bring the positive vibes from my previous year into 2014 so I do not really feel that it is a "New Year". It's just another day and another week. I had a fantastic 2013 and I have decided to continue the new adventures I got involved with. I intend to have better career opportunities, meeting new people, exploring new places, doing more crazy yet fun activities, creating a stronger impact via my blog "Thoughts and Views That Matter".

Oh yeah, furthering studies is not a bad idea after all. So, let's see what 2014 will offer me... or may be let's see what I will grab from the opportunities in the 2014. Let's pledge to live life to the fullest, every single day and you will make the most out of life!

Stay happy, stay motivated, unveil the power of positive mind and you are bound to achieve what your mind can conceive.


 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Mother and Daughter

I have a book named Things I Want My Daughters To Know. I bought this some years back and I think this book expressed the emotional bonding of a mother with her daughters so well. It is one of the books I read that still stays so fresh on my mind and I think the novelist has implied the message a mother would want to let her daughters know before her death. In this story, the mother dies due to cancer and the daughters would discover letters written by the mother after her death that would guide them through their important moments of their life.

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Inspired by this book, I wanted to come up with the things I would want my daughters to know, if I have any in the future. I thought it would be good to think about this now to mold the future of my children soon.

1. I Want My Daughters To Know That Seeking People's Approval Hurts

I want them to value themselves for who they are and no longer be the women in the older generation where they used to care for people's approval about their behaviours and being 'obedient' women pleasing men and putting up with their shit.

2. I Want My Daughters To Know That It Is Not A Crime To Have Their Own Opinion

I want my daughters to know that they should always have a firm opinion on any issues and never fear the societies' and religions' brutal limitation and control over what women should and shouldn't do. I want them to know that standing firm by their belief is more important than anything else.

3. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Shouldn't Allow People To Have Control Over Them

I want them to fly free like a bird, doing what they feel they could do, and pursuing their desire that could complete their seek for a sense of  achievements in life. I would never want them to see as someone who is being taken granted for as a wife, forsaking their own goals in life.

4. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Are Women With Class

I want them to define their own life and be a woman with class. I want them to carve success in a unique way and be a leader, not a follower and most importantly be different from everyone else. I want them to be wise and not innocent, taking guard of themselves and analysing different aspects of life from their own perspective. 

Lessons Learnt 4 Years Away From Home

Running Away From Home

You really thought I ran away from home huh? Kidding. I was away from home to pursue my higher studies and now back HOME. As of June 2013, it has been 4 years I'm away from home, learning to handle life somehow on my own and I think after all these years, I could make a good conclusion on what I have learned so far while running life according to my own instinct. So what lessons did I acquired?

I was attached to a local Technical University after my STPM (which is equivalent to what we all know as A level). I was offered a degree course in Chemical Engineering in June 2009 and now I'm done with it after 4 years. It was indeed the first time away from home and that was when I left my comfort zone to learn life apart from what the books taught me.

I feel those 4 years made me into a different person altogether. I may not have changed very much from the way I look but internally, my thoughts and attitudes have been shaped better. If you are a student who just started off your university life or about to go into your future university or higher education institution, I hope you would start learning life altogether, not just looking into what the books have to say. If you do so, you are losing a part of your valuable life and I certainly feel sorry for students who fail to think out of the education scope. These are the conclusions I could make now after the bitter-sweet ride of 4 years.

1. Screw People Aside
The one complicated thing about anything we deal with everywhere is people. From businesses, politics, family, relationship and friends, everything is a mess because people don't have parallel thoughts with you. I'm not saying you should disregard everyone but there are very little people who are genuinely interested in your well-being. So know who are they and always cherish your relationship with them. Never count on someone who would stab you from the back. I learnt to never really sweat on things happening with people as people come and go in life and all you should know is that you have done good from your part.

2. Keep Your Focus On Your Goals
One thing that keeps your life spicy is having goals in life. These aims are the reason for you to get up and out from your bed. When you have reasonably beneficial goals, you will be focused in life and nothing could distract you from getting what you want. You don't just live a life at college for a piece of paper that tells your boss you qualified exams alone. I felt I should have pursued writing two years back when I created the blog, yes THIS blog, for my English class (Academic Report Writing I think) and I have abandoned it after three months.

3. Time Is Gold
My lessons in life within that 4 years also taught me that I should appreciate time. Procrastinating is not going to lead us anywhere and I think once you have found the purpose of you living, you will regret time wasted and would never want to waste your time anymore. You will be more grounded. Make use of time to gain as much as you can; knowledge, money and experiences. They say life starts at 40, but I'm not 40 yet to comment on that. Nevertheless, I can say that life starts the moment you want it to get started.

4. Jump Out Of Your Comfort Zone
If you are going to be an ordinary student going to class, sitting for exams and passing with flying colours, you will eventually regret your boring schedule. Take a risk. Of course a calculated risk, do what you have always liked doing or ever dreamed of doing before. Go to the gym, keep yourself fit. At the end of a tiring day, a sense of accomplishment would follow and that is the reason for a peaceful sleep and also the reason for you to wake up the next day.

It's your life and you choose how to live it. So live it your way in your own terms and grab success your way. Thank you for reading and it will be so nice to have your say on my posts in the comment section regarding your lessons. 

Why Women Were The Reason Behind Their Own Downfall?

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Hello readers, I have started work on my first book, a non-fiction research collection on women's lives around the globe. I would like to thank +Sheikh Javed Ali Sindhi here for his generosity in guiding me with extensive issues related to honour killing in Pakistan and I am truly thankful for the encouragement I get from all the other Google + readers and writers! 

In regards to the project, I'm working on and as an extension to 3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assault post, I think there were a few notable reasons why women were the reason for their own downfall, knowingly and unknowingly, which could should be rectified in order to change the way they get treated by the society as a whole.

Egyptian women in Tahrir Square take part in the anti-government protests last month that led to the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Photograph: Pedro Ugarte/AFP/Getty Images 
Photo grabbed here

1. Blind Acceptance To Traditions and Cultures

Ladies all around the world have been abiding by rules and regulations set up by their societies which are often dominated by males. They were blindly taught to accept the norms of the society without being able to question the rationale behind the dos and donts. This is true for womenfolk who lived in the 19th century as they are completely estranged from proper education that would give them a sense of empowerment to fight against injustice. 

But to think that it has taken so long for them to come forward and fight against little things in their daily lives that signals gender discrimination is indeed saddening. Ladies have access to education and in fact, we have had world-class female leaders all around the world even during the era where photographs were still in black and white. What took them to break open the ignorance and speak for the betterment of their own kind? This is one of the issues needed to be tackled in order to foster changes in their lives.

Question things that don't seem logical. Never accept something just because that is the way things were in the past. Think for yourselves if the society is doing good for you and question the justice when you feel being discriminated for being a lady.

2. Degrading Their Own Kind

Have you seen ladies who blame another woman for her mistake that she may not even have committed? Have you heard of them accusing each other, tarnishing images to the extreme level in front of men? This seems to have been one of the most contagious habits among ladies that is very discouraging and suicidal. Why? Because this attitude creates a big loophole for the other gender to use the weakness and control women better. There is no sense of togetherness among womenfolk and this is why they are prone to fights and arguments more often than men. 

Why discourage one another and be foes for the rest of your lives? Wake up, open your eyes wide, look at the opportunity that lies ahead of you to make a strong network among your own kind. Stop degrading another lady. That is equivalent to degrading yourself! 

3. Accepting ''Men are Men'' Mentality

Men are men, they are born to be aggressive, they could do whatever they want and women have to uphold modesty and respect men all the time. Men are men, they will take advantage of women and it is completely natural thus the responsibility lies solely on women to protect themselves. 

I'm pretty sure you have heard of these famous lines uttered by people from the past generation. I don't think the blame goes completely on the other sex as ladies knew this is not supposed to happen to them and it is completely unfair but they have remained accepting things as they are. How many of you actually have trashed your male friend for their sexist remarks or stood up against discriminative gestures signalled by men at your workplace? 

Insecurities place a big role in being the major hindrance to women's coward nature as they are again told that they would be in trouble questioning such issues in public or raising their voice to demand justifications. As of today, only a small portion of women are actually going against these atrocities and that is definitely not enough to combat gender inequality at our place. 

My post on The Male Chauvinist is the display picture for one of the gigs I offer on Fiverr and were discriminated by someone in the forum suggesting that I'm a terrible hardcore feminist. I did lay my rebuttals for his baseless attacks. All I got in return was more support and an additional new order. I think it's about time women stop being the reason for their own downfall.

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Democracy Is Dying!!

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Sorry. DEMOCRACY IS DEAD. Period.
Malaysians,
We are all mourning the death of democracy at our country. We are frustrated and deeply irritated by the fact that there were fraudulent during our election. Despite all these anger and outrages, what we have learned from GE 13 are:

1) We are UNITED
For some reason now, we are all united, we are against the ruling government not because of racial intolerance. We have stood together, Malay, Chinese and Indian, to VOICE our opinion out. That is the real victory.

2)  We are GETTING there
We have come this far against the cronies. We have shown improvement for the CHANGE. We broke the majority votes the ruling government had. Despite the Bangla illegal voters and frauds, we still did make a change!

3) Voice out for YOURSELVES
The government is not going to help you if you don't help yourself. This election has wakened up more citizens. 85% of people came out to cast their votes. This means the level of awareness has been drastically increased. YOU as an individual should make the CHANGE

4) Say NO to racism
We have learned to say no to racism! We have learned that we shouldn't give in to the racial sparks. This is the real victory.

What we can should do more:

1) Check your voting STATUS
Many were fooled during the last minute as they realized they were not listed among the voters' list. My friend is one of them. He has voted before so he has not checked as his name should be registered, logically. So don't give in to these acts of fraudulent. Check your names against 6 months earlier at least.

2) Get everyone to register as VOTERS
I'm not sure how much effect does this post of mine going to impose, some of you may remember, some of you not. The best thing to do for yourself and family is to get all your family members who are 21 and above to register as voters and vote

3) Don't quit VOTING
My father and grandparents who were voters for so many years did not complain much or said they are not going to vote. So all the first time voters and young voters, continue voting. You will make the MAGIC one day!

4) Support the PROTEST
Support the NGO's who are protesting against the EC for a fair election and cleaner Malaysia as a whole. Show your support by educating people around you on what they are supposed to know.

5) Don't be a FOOL
If you are someone who is afraid of voting against the government, this message goes to you. No one would catch you and put you behind the bars for exercising your rights. Stop being the world-class fool!

6) Be EC Election Agents
For those who could do this, you ought to be the EC watching agents on the day of polling! I guess that would increase transparency. Have more people of all races join in for this.

Last but not least, life has to go on. This is our country. You can't run away and live in another place when you can't fight for your rights here, the place where you were born. I applaud the actions of the public chasing the phantom voters away! That was mind-blowing!

Love you Malaysia!

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Push The Limits Further !

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        Staying encouraged and determined to pursue something we have always been passionate about lifts our spirit high up. Nevertheless, as soon as you get hit down by hardship, the thoughts of giving up slowly poison the mind. How do we push the limits beyond to make it happen?

Be back with extended posts after my first job interview tomorrow!! Keeping fingers crossed!!

             Back to the blog! The interview went super well! Keeping fingers crossed for the results of it. Having a positive mind and thoughts are very vital in getting positive feedbacks from life. What you give life is what you get in return. Push the limits beyond and make things happen! 

Crave For What You Want

               When life gives you hundreds of hints your effort is failing, give life thousands of reasons why it should happen. Determination and willpower are one of the essential formulae of success in making dreams reality. We should tell ourselves that we should push the hardship behind and look at the opportunity that lies ahead. Look at the blessings in life and how fortunate we are as compared to those who are struggling for the basic needs of life. Make use of all you have in life, crave for what you want, think of it, concentrate on it, and make it happen! Seize the moment, it's the road to success. 

Make The Pain Worth It

              Whatever the circumstances are, be it good or bad, you should always remember: Let the past go but don't forget the lessons. You may have gone through real hell and came out of it, torn apart. Now, when things seem to get a little brighter, always remember, it took a great deal of hardship to learn something life ought to teach you. LEARN it now and never repeat history. Tell yourself that you should keep succeeding and keep moving forward to leave behind the dark past, far away. Double the dose of happiness in life to eradicate the pain you experienced. In that way, you win over the hardship and eventually get stronger than ever in life! 

Nothing Is Enough

            There's no limit for success and achievements. You should not surrender for something that you don't deserve. Go all the way while you still can and make your dreams happen. NEVER feel satisfied with what you have and where you are in life. Don't give in to those feelings of having enough in life. That will eventually inhibit your ability and imagination. Always take one bad event as a lesson for a lifetime and steer the wheel of life towards positivity, go, go and go!!

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Self-Help: The Best You Can Do For Yourself

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        Very often, during our tough times, we seek the help of those who are close to us. Families, friends, and life partners are one of those whom we always turn to for comfort. Of course, there is nothing like having a long talk with special ones in our lives to help us heal from within. Sometimes, sharing the dark side of our lives with the right person turns out to be a blessing as they will magically lift your life and set you back on track. Parents are the best person with such credibility to do this aid for ourselves as they could bring the best out of us even when we feel like the world has shattered. 

Please Help Yourself
Image grabbed here

         What is the drawback of seeking help from others to heal us? When someone lends us their ears to our problems, we would often feel like sharing our emotions and thoughts with them. That person is someone that seems precious more than anything as they act as an immediate remedy to our sickly soul. Sooner than later, we seek happiness within them and we entrust them to make us feel complete. This would lead to dependency and eventually ends up in disappointment. Why? Because people don't live up to our expectations all the time. Like everything else, people change! So, the best medicine for your sorrow is self-help. Why so? 

1. Help Yourself Discover Your Strength 

             You will feel irritated and disappointed with people around you who pull themselves back from your issues and letting you deal with your odds on your own. First thing first, you should understand that nobody is ever obliged to help you overcome your problems. Help is something offered out of their own will and you can't expect everyone to be generously pumping in effort into our problems. Help yourself to do this as you will learn to keep yourself calm in the process, discovering what your strength is and ways to overcome such situations on your OWN. Many of us who have confronted difficulties in life discover our lesson at that point. Pain heals and teaches us something about ourselves like hidden talents. So, help yourself to identify what you are best at. That will give you peace of mind and happiness. 

2. Help Yourself To Be Independent 

             There can never be something as valuable as the ability to stand on your own foot. This is essential in today's world as this attributes to transform oneself into a stronger person. When you are finally able to depend on nothing but YOURSELF, you will learn the best of yourself and using it as a weapon to combat the negativity that pulls you down. Eventually, you will find yourself being more confident and independent in almost every other stuff you do on a daily basis. You no longer need someone to make you feel better all the time, nannying you when you feel sinking. 

3. Help Yourself To Combat Negativity 

            The need to rely on something to drift us away from one dark side of our past will lead to another dependency. Most often, this something will be unhealthy activities that lure us into a mess like alcohol or drug addiction. Some of us would go to the extent of projecting the frustration on people around us thus creating friction in relationships. There is no way of you finding yourself going towards a better life if you keep dwelling in negativity. That's the key to understand the whole issue. You can't only strengthen yourself by discovering and empowering the positive elements, by telling yourself that even this will pass and by BELIEVING life will be better. So, you should constantly remind yourself that you should think the good way for your life to change. 

              Of course, pain is the bitter pill to rediscover yourself. But, that's temporary. Once you have started materializing the plans to see yourself out of trouble, you will love the outcome and you will start loving positivity as an essential element in life! Self-help is the best. There is no other way out!

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Road To Forgiving People

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    Many of us would have gotten hurt. People would have wronged us in the past and it would have dramatically changed or affected our lives in some way we would never have ever imagined. It hurts us so badly we sometimes choose to hurt them back, plot evil revenge or harbour resentment or grudge against them. Somehow life goes on with each passing day and despite many things that life has to offer, we are entangled in the past, unwillingly choosing to dwell on the not-so-nice events in our lives and continue to hurt people who have made us feel miserable. We all know that trying to hurt someone constantly through our minds doesn't do any good and in fact, it makes us feel so negative about our lives. So we learn to let go.    

              

       Trying to let go of our past is actually one step closer to what we call the act of forgiving. With or without our realization, we tend to discard the grudge we had on the people in our past when we decide to let go of something. But that is not something very easy. Today, we see the good side of us, happily letting go of the past and some other day sooner or later when some event that is related to our bitter past hurts our emotions, we quickly shift back to the state of hurting them in our thoughts. Sometimes, this can be really torturous as we are travelling back and forth in the effort to move in. 

      So, forgiving is the way to be happy and project our lives ahead into positivity and the real challenge lies in materialising it. How is that even possible?

1) Make The Best Lesson Out Of Hurtful Events 

        You can't forgive someone so easily for what they have done to us. This is pretty common and it's normal to feel so. At the same time, you can't dwell on what has happened and refusing to see the goodness in life. One way someone would let the past go completely is when they have really moved on in life and achieved so much that when they look back to the road they have travelled, the events that have hurt them so badly do not touch their emotions any more. 

        Take this as a chance to really work hard to do what brings happiness into your life. Discover what are your life's desires and what you are good at. Make effort to turn your dreams into reality. Go as far as you can and embrace all the good things life has to offer. Never settle for something that is not satisfying your quest to dream and achieve. By doing this, you will give yourself a chance to say that you have turned a disastrous incident into a stepping-stone in your life and you will let go of your past and the people behind it. 

2) Discover Activities That Helps Combat Negativity

          In the midst of feeling so good about how your life is changing and being excited about it, sometimes you do fall back into the negative thoughts. If you don't do anything to combat these thoughts, it will eventually drag you in it for the rest of the day. So, as soon as you discover that something is pulling you back from feeling good about a brand new day, pause your work a while and quickly get yourself to do something that helps you combat negativity. It can be anything like hitting the gymnasium or reading self-empowerment book or meditating. Discover what helps you the most in times like this which will be the best remedy to get you back on track. 

3)  Leave It On Karma

          There will always be a constant need for revenge people who have wronged us. There is something called karma, or nature's way of serving people with what they deserve. We often neglect this fact and continue to take the responsibility of ensuring them getting punished for their deeds. One best relief we can get is by having faith that karma will do its work. Trust in God and tell yourself you don't have to burden yourself with resentment as nature has its way to deal with every good and bad people do to you, and vice versa. If you are lucky enough God will let you watch it! 

Let the past be the best teacher and plan the future with life's lessons. Good night everybody! Wake up to a better morning! 

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