Showing posts with label sexual rights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual rights. Show all posts

Monday, 5 May 2014

'Breast Ironing' In Cameroon To Avoid Rape and Delay Puberty

Mothers ‘iron’ daughters breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape
We all know that every society deals with its own issues of discrimination against women. We have societies dealing with rape in night clubs, child bride issues, the 'dowry' or 'wedding gift' custom, birth control and abortions. But in Cameroon, little girls go through hell in the name 'protection' by their very own mothers.

Rape and child pregnancies are very common in Cameroon and mothers over there decide to iron their girls' breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape. So, flat breast don't attract men! Meh! It is a new tradition due to sexual violence in Cameroon where girls will be forced to get their breasts ironed as early as 11. They would simply grab any objects, heat them up and press it on the girls' breasts. These girls cry so hard but all their mothers say is that it is for their 'own good'. Good? So, has the rape cases drop over the years? 

What happens to these girls as they grow up is horrifying as they develop diseases due to this practice. Some have cysts, some have infections and some have their breast looking extremely bad and non-symmetrical. The psychological disorder these girls develop is even worse. They grow up to feel bad about their appearance and the trauma remains in their heart, forever!

There a now a group of women activist with more than 10,000 members are now fighting for the younger generation and the campaign is showing positive results as the percentage of women affected by this practice has dropped to 12 from 25% in 2006.





It is obvious that we all should stay united in fighting for the rights of women and any form of injustice. Are you girls aware of what's going on around the world? Do they know how to protect themselves from men who sweet-talk? Do you teach them to become women who knows their worth? 

Do your part today. Let's do not let another generation of women to define their worth based on their looks or approval from men. 


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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

This Attack On Non-Fiction Book Is Maddening!!!



I received an e-mail a few days ago notifying me that I've received a comment for my Goodreads book review. I clicked on the link to see who has responded to my review for "Heroin of the Desert" by Donya Al-Nahi.

This was an old book I bought nearly 5 years ago. I gave this book a 4 star. It's about a woman who help saves kids and reunite them with their mothers. Donya helps non-Arabic mothers who are separated from their husbands after divorce in getting back their kids.

It is a common scenario in the Middle East where the children are being separated from their mothers (especially from Western ladies who got married to Middle Eastern men). I have read a similar story from Carmen Bin Laden who was married to one of the men from Bin Laden's family and struggled very hard to get her two daughters back.

Getting back to the comment I received, I saw someone leaving negative review about the book and urging everyone single person who reviewed the book to read the news that appeared in this link. I tried to check the person's profile page and it appeared to be that he or she has never reviewed any other books before this.

When someone questioned the credibility of the news, this person started arguing. I noticed that this profile doesn't exist on Goodreads today too.

U_25x33
Henry Hoel oh so you kno donya personally I'm guessing. is that right? so you would kno about all the poor mothers she ripped off right? click the links. all the mothers are there with their stores on how donya al nahi ripped them off! lied to them and stole their money !!





Being an avid Middle East story fan, I could relate to this kind of attack on books where the author reveals stories about people being mistreated. My favourite writer in this genre is Jean Sasson and you can read about how her books are being greatly boycotted by anonymous people all over the world.

A quote from Jean Sasson from her website.
For anyone who is considering writing a book, you might want to read my personal account of what it is like to be stalked, and, for that stalker to find attorneys willing to file a frivolous lawsuit. -- Jean
It is pretty intimidating to write and expose crimes but I guess that's what makes life worth living! Living for a cause.
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Thursday, 22 August 2013

Your Shame Won't Alleviate Mine

What's the point of covering your shame?


Thanking +Adrianna Joleigh for letting me know about this documentary on YouTube. As we know, India has been in the spotlight since December last year for rising rape cases throughout the nation. Women in India have come together to protest the sexual discrimination and endless violence they have to face on a daily basis. Ever since the Dehli Gang Rape case incident, more rape cases are discovered day by day and it doesn't seem to get any better.

India's image has been tarnished with world-wide accusations. Men in India are horny bastards. India is not a safe country for women. These are some of the statements that you can see in the comments for the video above. It is definitely a shameful issue for a country and its citizen. I'm feeling really sorry for the victims and I hope for a better future for women in India. 

But the question is, how do you REALLY feel when you watch the video or while reading this post? Are you feeling disgusted about India? Did your subconscious voice just told you that these Indian men are horrible? If you are from a safer place where you have been protected from these violence all your life, do you really think you are safe? Can you assure that your children's safety is protected? 

Indian men don't deserve their women. I said that in one of my older posts. But I have also mentioned that the same rule applies for all men regardless of their race or nationality. The huge misconception in our society when we come across any hideous news happening elsewhere in the world is to assume that we are in a safer part of the world and instantly feel thankful for it. 

I wanted to make a snapshot of some of the comments under the video but when I came back a day later, it was flooded by hundreds of comments and I lost track of the earlier comments. From my observation, some Indians were admitting to the fact that the situation is getting worse in India for women when authorities are not taking proper measures to arrest the rising sexual violence and rape cases whereas some are trying to protect their shame by diverting the attention to countries like Saudi Arabia and Africa where women are treated like slaves with restrictions imposed in the name of religion. 

Will their shame alleviate your shame, India? No. Are we still going to see more women being raped and subjected to brutality? Yes! Because if we are not going to admit that our men are terrible and the situation is getting out of hand, people would continue to protect the name of the nation and shame of the society by pin-pointing to what is happening all around the globe. I agree that countries like America, Australia and Canada are not safe either and you can't claim these countries to be safe as the suicide case of Rehtaeh Parsons serves as an evidence that no where on this earth is really safe. 

The only way to handle this brutality is by acknowledging the issue and start implementing better rules and regulations on sexual violators so that we can see hope for women renewing itself with no expiration date. On the other hand, it is time to reflect this issue upon our own country and see where do we actually stand when it comes to crimes like sexual harassment and rapes. Just because the media caught one country for its shameful incident, we can't be taking it for granted and throwing wild accusations. May be our shame is being swept under the carpet and could be the next talk of the world when someone were to reveal it. 

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Friday, 16 August 2013

Make Love Not Porn

A new movement to rectify the minds of younster
I'm not sure how many of you are actually aware of this movement called Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop. I just got to know about this movement sometime back while reading a blogpost. I thought there was a great idea lying behind it as Cindy speaks about how detrimental pornography is for the youngsters nowadays. The possible reasons why Cindy would have decided to work on this idea are:

1) You Can't Stop Them From Doing It
Nothing is really working when it comes to efforts taken to stop teenagers from having sex. Sex education has educated them to protect themselves from STD's but what about having them refraining from having sex. I don't think so it has worked really well. You will have your kids start questioning about sex sooner or later. Kids are getting very advanced in understanding the world and sex is definitely not an exceptional issue. You can't fool them any longer with an answer or sweeping statements that sound like these; ''sex refers to your gender" or "when man and woman have sex they have babies". 
MLNP

2) Pornography Is Destroying Relationships
It is disturbing to think that pornography has long been ruling over people's sexual life. Men think women will react the way they see on porn and expect their partners to behave the same way. Hardcore porn never reflect the real life sex as people show different inclination towards sexual activities. With this movement, hopefully the younger generation would know what love really is and how porn and love-making are entirely different. I feel the human contact is amiss in porn and I don't think that should be the reference for young adults. 
MLNP

3) Resources Are Everywhere
You can never stop your child from learning about sex. If you are not explaining about it, they will go looking for the information on the websites and you can be very sure that they will stumble upon porn on the internet. So that is how easy they can get mislead. Why not start a movement like this to have the right education where people learn what sex really is and know that it is about emotions, feelings, relationship and love. I think Cindy is able to send this message across to a certain extent and this movement has to go viral to be the talk of everybody so that we could save families in future. 

MLNP

4) Explaining What Love Really Is
I think the main reason why she has started her work on "Make Love Not Porn" videos is because porn is not in favour of love. This movement made us all think where are we heading towards with so much domestic violence that is shattering homes. Porn has made men and women hard and emotionless. On top of that, Make Love Not Porn also stops women from being seen as an object to satisfy men, exposing the truth on how women really feel in the reality. 

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Bikini and Modesty

Bikini or Burka?What really defines Modesty?
Image grabbed here

I have just watched a video from YouTube, a speech by Jessica Rey, an actress and a designer who has sparked a debate between the conservative and modernised world about swimwear. Jesicca says that the bikini has dis-empowered women where they allow themselves to be objectified by men. Is itsy-bitsy really that bad? Here it is the video of Jessica with her speech


Now, before we really look into the issue, think of all the aspects that needed to be analysed. 
  • Does showing your skin means being bitchy?
  • What modesty really is?
  • Where do women's choice lies and to what extent it is acceptable?
The society has this terrible idea ingrained on it's mind for a very long time. Back in the stone age, when people don't know what clothes are, they don't find it awkward to be naked. As time passes and when the world entered into the evolution era, clothes were invented to cover themselves from the harsh environment. Together with that reason, people started to cover themselves as they viewed human body as a sacred asset. Here, at this point, comes in modesty. And this is completely fine. People covering themselves because they feel the urge to uphold their dignity. 

But to cover yourself because you're afraid that men see you as an object? This is where the problem starts from.

Like Jessica has said, the invention of bikini was with the intention to objectify women. The definition of women's skin has become SEXY. Who on earth really came up with this word? People have started to view women in a different manner and when they show some skin, it is called sexy. Women have been exploited as objects in various fields from modelling to advertisement ever since then. Have you ever felt that it is a huge discrimination when men who employ models for their business calling another common women on street sluts just because they wear low cut blouses? I say the length of the dress is not going to make a difference in addressing the real issue we have. 

A lady who fully covers but treats her daughter-in-law like her slave versus a lady who wears a low-cut dress but does charity work during the weekend? Who is the woman with the bad behaviour? I'm not saying that reverting back to the old swimwear is a bad idea, but the intention in doing that causes more damage to the society as we seem to be seeking approval from people, mainly the gentlemen who may not be so 'gentle and nice'. 


Change In Mentality Is What We Need Now

I feel the amount of skin you show shouldn't be used to judge a woman and the common notion of showing skin means sexy or bitchy has to be eradicated all together. When you cover just because you don't want a man to look down upon you, you are merely seeking an approval and dancing to his tune. Force that ignorance and arrogance out of them and let them know a woman is a woman and nothing else grants them the right to objectify her, whether or not they reveal skin. 

What modesty really is? I personally don't reveal too much skin,because I don't think I would carry myself well and this is a personal opinion. Another lady or may be even you reading this, if you are a lady, would feel comfortable walking down the street with a skirt above knee length that looks fine and not obscene. Everyone has different a personality to carry and if we were to judge someone based on their appearance alone, I believe we are in the wrong track all together. A well-mannered woman can only be identified through the way she behaves with another human being. 

If showing skin is wrong, then every woman in the modelling industry has to resign to be labelled a 'good' lady. Even prostitutes would be slammed hard on this issue if it is wrong to show skin. Do we even grant women to make a choice? To me, it is very wrong for a woman to allow her body to be objectified and for a man to take advantage of any woman no matter how she dresses up. While I feel it is wrong to allow people to objectify us, ladies who are in the fashion line would feel that it is their profession and they would  stand up for their choice. At the end of the day, it is about giving woman the power to choose what they want and taking decisions based on their choice.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assaults


So after some time ranting on election fraudulent, I'm back to discuss this up as it has been on my draft lists for so long. 3 things that accelerates sexual assaults!

# 1 Ownership On Woman

When man and woman get married, the woman is often viewed as a possession. How many of you acknowledge woman who is forced to have sex with her husband as rape? That too is infringement on women's right and as society views woman as someone belonged to her husband, the man takes charge of everything and forces sex upon his wife outside her will. Woman on the other hand thinks that she is meant to satisfy her partner and gives in to her forceful husband.

# 2 Endowing Men The Authority

Society has long endowed men with the authority that allows them to take women for granted. This inevitably allows men to treat women the way they want and blame women for their misery. This is why men think it is okay to blame women for rapes. That includes women's behaviour and their dressing sense which are blamed for provoking sexual arousal on men.

# 3 Pornography

Why pornography? Because it has served as a platform to disseminate the above mentioned ideas. More often than not, women are objectified in pornography and they are being used merely as sex toys to please men on bed. Nothing more than that! 

Friday, 26 April 2013

Traits of An Ass - The Male Chauvinist

Look at the picture, look at the comment

Im dedicating this blog post for fellow blogger and friend +Arunesh Dwivedi for coming up with his own thoughts on the same picture and comments I'm discussing about. His blog post can be viewed here


Why wouldn't I get furious? Why wouldn't I feel like bashing someone up? I happened to see this beautiful picture with very deep meaning, that is not suggesting anything obscene, a picture which I thought worth sharing for its message but upon reading the comments I have decided to share this on my blog post to convey my own message!

That old man, yes, the one who brilliantly related this picture to male orgasm out of the blue! I went to check his profile out! What I saw was nothing but his blog posts which he shared on his page (which wasn't entertained by anyone anyway). A blog dedicated to show the world how filthy his mind could be and how disrespectful he is towards women! 

Now, we all have access to adult jokes and we do come across them every now and then. But, relating a picture like this to sexuality is an act of an ass! There is a need to draw a limit to everything and this man has clearly swayed from the limit of addressing something to sexual jokes! The never ending rape cases and violence against women are a result of people with sick mentalities like this. Why?

1. Objectifying Women

    Men like that Mr. Malhotra take women merely as an object, purely to satisfy their uncontrollable sexual pleasure. Just like greed and jealousy, when one fails to control his/her emotions, identify and analyse what is taking control over him/her, he/she falls prey to the play of the mind and feelings! When someone gets engrossed in sexual issues, they fail to see a woman as a human being. Excessive sexuality would undeniably lead to unhealthy communication with people around you and that's when women are objectified! Their eyes go beyond face while talking to women and all they do is to check out on women's physical attributes. Ask them why, they say men are like that, they tend to be so! Plain trait of a male chauvinist! 

2. Man As The Superior Sex

    While glancing through his page, I found a post with its title suggesting young women marrying older men for money! This purely suggests that men like him having a cheap perception on women, that women can be bought and they are something that can be owned! Men like Malhotra can never respect another woman or treat her with equality. He can never do justice neither to his family nor his wife! They are always in a pathetic perception that men could treat ladies anyway they want and it's the women's responsibility to uphold their dignity and safeguard themselves! 

3. Ignoring Violence Against Women

    Today, I read on two articles relating to India. One man called a minister was saying that women get raped because they act in such suggestive manner. Another news is about a 14 year old boy raping a 6 year old girl in Dehli. I feel both these news are closely related to the issue I'm discussing now. When men like Malhotra become ministers, these are the news you could expect to hear on a daily basis. The family of the 5 year old kid who got raped was given some amount of money to close the case down by the police force. People like these are the root cause of the evil bedevilling the society and corrupting them to the extent that women seems to be the second sex forever in the eye of the world! 

To those who think its okay to harm a kid for your male orgasm, I suggest you to dig a hole and shove your thing inside! Let the innocent child alone unharmed!

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority?

         Changazi told Mortenson how he squared his dalliances with his devotion to Islam. Heading to his mosque soon after another Inge or Aiko wandered into his sights, Changazi petitioned his mullah for permission to make a muthaa, or temporary marriage. The custom was still common in parts of Shiite Pakistan, for married men who might face intervals without the comfort of their wives, fighting in distant wars, or travelling on an extended trip. But Changazi had been granted a handful of muthaa already since the climbing season began in May. Better to sanctify the union, however short lived, in Allah's sight, Changazi cheerfully explained to Mortenson, than simply to have sex. 
        
           Mortenson asked if Balti women whose husbands were away could also be granted muthaa.
         "No, of course not," Changazi said, waggling his head at the naivete of Mortenson's question, before offering him a biscotti to dunk in his tea. 
...................................................................................................................................................................

         He told Mortenson how much he missed his wife, Rhokia. It had been nine years since he lost her in gaining their only child, Jahan. " She was very beautiful," he said,as they lay looking the Milky Way that was so dense it covered them like a shawl. "Her face was small like Jahan's, and she was always popping up laughing and singing, like a marmot." 

          "Will you marry again?'' Mortenson asked. 
         '' Oh, for me this is very easy," Twaha explained. One day I will be nurmadhar and already I have a lot of land. So far I don't love any other woman.'' He lowered his voice slyly. "But sometimes...I enjoy."
         " Can you do that without marrying?" Mortenson said. It was something I'd been curious since coming to Korphe, but had never felt confident enough to ask.
         " Yes, of course, " Twaha said. "With widows. We have many widows in Korphe."

Excerpt from ''Three Cups of Tea'' by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

*********************************************************************************
          Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority? Upon reading this book and hearing from a friend encountering similar situation have triggered this question on my mind! I have a friend who came to me saying that she was denied the rights to expect for affection from her partner as she should not be expecting for affection and it is something that's given out of his will, whenever he feels like doing it. 

          I'm not sure if this is a global mentality that has seeped into mankind long time ago or if it's just a social stigma pertaining some societies still, like people in the Middle East and conservative Indians all over the place. I can't say that men from the West are different as I can't judge what I don't know. What has baffled me badly is the total injustice imposed on women on the rights to exhibit sexual desires, even from their partners. Living in a society which has believed that woman should uphold modesty and decency has made things worst. Such way of thinking has indirectly given men the way out from all wrong-doings. It has somehow granted them to do what women has been prohibited from doing. Take the ever-undiminishing rape issues in India as the perfect example. Men has continued to violate women as they are wallowed by chauvinism and think they could get away easily from the crime, blaming the women for being out at the wrong time and dressing indecently. 

         Any unfortunate events that happen to women are solely their responsibility. What's more painful is some of them are even accused of enjoying the rape and not trying to fight the rape back. On the other hand, society has failed to realise that women, just like men, have sexual drives, as part of nature's way of ensuring continuity of mankind, a necessity in life. Ladies being subjected to blames of being bitchy and labelling them as women of low-morale are just another sad case that has eventually succumbed to pure injustice and violation of women-rights. What privilege do men have to get away from the same sins that women commit? 


         Romance is something both women and men have rights on and it is not a 'male-feeling'. A good relationship between man and wife is based on mutual understanding and fulfilment of each other's needs. That includes sexual desires too.