Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Monday, 11 July 2016

Book Review: Sex and Power by Rita Banerji

https://sexandpower.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/sex-and-power-click-to-look-inside.jpg?w=545
Sex and Power by Rita Banerji
I would like to thank Author Kelli Sue Landon for helping me to get this book from Amazon. Find Kelli on one of these social media sites if you are a fan of murder mystery and thriller books. 

WordPress: https://kellisuelandon.wordpress.com/ Twitter: @kellisuelandon Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Kelli-Sue-Landon-Author-128375177223550/
Her book review site: https://kellisbookreviews.wordpress.com/

I'm glad I read this book. So glad I did. I got to know about Rita Banerji sometime ago and wanted to grab a copy of her book through Amazon, which I couldn't, as the title was and I believe still is not available where I live. Kelli helped me to get the book via Kindle and gifted it to me. It had been on my Kindle device for about a year, if I'm not wrong. I don't read books on Kindle to be honest but finally decided to read it as I know it is worth getting a glimpse of the thoughts of Rita Banerji, an activist whose work largely revolves around women's rights in India. I like how she does extensive research to reveal cultural myths and the way religions both glorified and condoned human beings' sexuality. 

Rita's book will definitely shed some light on issues we thought were taboo. I particularly like how women were so much sexually empowered through religions. The Golden Era saw men and women emphasising 'romance' and 'love-making' where they respected each other. Rita also wrote very distinctly on the influence of religions and how 'sex and power' were viewed and handled differently according to their respective religious view point. 

Towards the end, I'm able to learn on how the present-day India is still struggling in promoting equality and how leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, whose preaching and practice on sexual stance had great disparities their own sexual. 

I would rate this book 10/10 and give it ten stars on Amazon, if I could. 

Check it out on https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Power-Defining-History-Societies/dp/0143064711

WordPress: sexandpower.wordpress.com

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Monday, 5 May 2014

'Breast Ironing' In Cameroon To Avoid Rape and Delay Puberty

Mothers ‘iron’ daughters breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape
We all know that every society deals with its own issues of discrimination against women. We have societies dealing with rape in night clubs, child bride issues, the 'dowry' or 'wedding gift' custom, birth control and abortions. But in Cameroon, little girls go through hell in the name 'protection' by their very own mothers.

Rape and child pregnancies are very common in Cameroon and mothers over there decide to iron their girls' breasts to delay puberty and prevent rape. So, flat breast don't attract men! Meh! It is a new tradition due to sexual violence in Cameroon where girls will be forced to get their breasts ironed as early as 11. They would simply grab any objects, heat them up and press it on the girls' breasts. These girls cry so hard but all their mothers say is that it is for their 'own good'. Good? So, has the rape cases drop over the years? 

What happens to these girls as they grow up is horrifying as they develop diseases due to this practice. Some have cysts, some have infections and some have their breast looking extremely bad and non-symmetrical. The psychological disorder these girls develop is even worse. They grow up to feel bad about their appearance and the trauma remains in their heart, forever!

There a now a group of women activist with more than 10,000 members are now fighting for the younger generation and the campaign is showing positive results as the percentage of women affected by this practice has dropped to 12 from 25% in 2006.





It is obvious that we all should stay united in fighting for the rights of women and any form of injustice. Are you girls aware of what's going on around the world? Do they know how to protect themselves from men who sweet-talk? Do you teach them to become women who knows their worth? 

Do your part today. Let's do not let another generation of women to define their worth based on their looks or approval from men. 


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 I welcome your thoughts and views ! :D Thank you for your feedback

Friday, 16 August 2013

Make Love Not Porn

A new movement to rectify the minds of younster
I'm not sure how many of you are actually aware of this movement called Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop. I just got to know about this movement sometime back while reading a blogpost. I thought there was a great idea lying behind it as Cindy speaks about how detrimental pornography is for the youngsters nowadays. The possible reasons why Cindy would have decided to work on this idea are:

1) You Can't Stop Them From Doing It
Nothing is really working when it comes to efforts taken to stop teenagers from having sex. Sex education has educated them to protect themselves from STD's but what about having them refraining from having sex. I don't think so it has worked really well. You will have your kids start questioning about sex sooner or later. Kids are getting very advanced in understanding the world and sex is definitely not an exceptional issue. You can't fool them any longer with an answer or sweeping statements that sound like these; ''sex refers to your gender" or "when man and woman have sex they have babies". 
MLNP

2) Pornography Is Destroying Relationships
It is disturbing to think that pornography has long been ruling over people's sexual life. Men think women will react the way they see on porn and expect their partners to behave the same way. Hardcore porn never reflect the real life sex as people show different inclination towards sexual activities. With this movement, hopefully the younger generation would know what love really is and how porn and love-making are entirely different. I feel the human contact is amiss in porn and I don't think that should be the reference for young adults. 
MLNP

3) Resources Are Everywhere
You can never stop your child from learning about sex. If you are not explaining about it, they will go looking for the information on the websites and you can be very sure that they will stumble upon porn on the internet. So that is how easy they can get mislead. Why not start a movement like this to have the right education where people learn what sex really is and know that it is about emotions, feelings, relationship and love. I think Cindy is able to send this message across to a certain extent and this movement has to go viral to be the talk of everybody so that we could save families in future. 

MLNP

4) Explaining What Love Really Is
I think the main reason why she has started her work on "Make Love Not Porn" videos is because porn is not in favour of love. This movement made us all think where are we heading towards with so much domestic violence that is shattering homes. Porn has made men and women hard and emotionless. On top of that, Make Love Not Porn also stops women from being seen as an object to satisfy men, exposing the truth on how women really feel in the reality. 

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Bikini and Modesty

Bikini or Burka?What really defines Modesty?
Image grabbed here

I have just watched a video from YouTube, a speech by Jessica Rey, an actress and a designer who has sparked a debate between the conservative and modernised world about swimwear. Jesicca says that the bikini has dis-empowered women where they allow themselves to be objectified by men. Is itsy-bitsy really that bad? Here it is the video of Jessica with her speech


Now, before we really look into the issue, think of all the aspects that needed to be analysed. 
  • Does showing your skin means being bitchy?
  • What modesty really is?
  • Where do women's choice lies and to what extent it is acceptable?
The society has this terrible idea ingrained on it's mind for a very long time. Back in the stone age, when people don't know what clothes are, they don't find it awkward to be naked. As time passes and when the world entered into the evolution era, clothes were invented to cover themselves from the harsh environment. Together with that reason, people started to cover themselves as they viewed human body as a sacred asset. Here, at this point, comes in modesty. And this is completely fine. People covering themselves because they feel the urge to uphold their dignity. 

But to cover yourself because you're afraid that men see you as an object? This is where the problem starts from.

Like Jessica has said, the invention of bikini was with the intention to objectify women. The definition of women's skin has become SEXY. Who on earth really came up with this word? People have started to view women in a different manner and when they show some skin, it is called sexy. Women have been exploited as objects in various fields from modelling to advertisement ever since then. Have you ever felt that it is a huge discrimination when men who employ models for their business calling another common women on street sluts just because they wear low cut blouses? I say the length of the dress is not going to make a difference in addressing the real issue we have. 

A lady who fully covers but treats her daughter-in-law like her slave versus a lady who wears a low-cut dress but does charity work during the weekend? Who is the woman with the bad behaviour? I'm not saying that reverting back to the old swimwear is a bad idea, but the intention in doing that causes more damage to the society as we seem to be seeking approval from people, mainly the gentlemen who may not be so 'gentle and nice'. 


Change In Mentality Is What We Need Now

I feel the amount of skin you show shouldn't be used to judge a woman and the common notion of showing skin means sexy or bitchy has to be eradicated all together. When you cover just because you don't want a man to look down upon you, you are merely seeking an approval and dancing to his tune. Force that ignorance and arrogance out of them and let them know a woman is a woman and nothing else grants them the right to objectify her, whether or not they reveal skin. 

What modesty really is? I personally don't reveal too much skin,because I don't think I would carry myself well and this is a personal opinion. Another lady or may be even you reading this, if you are a lady, would feel comfortable walking down the street with a skirt above knee length that looks fine and not obscene. Everyone has different a personality to carry and if we were to judge someone based on their appearance alone, I believe we are in the wrong track all together. A well-mannered woman can only be identified through the way she behaves with another human being. 

If showing skin is wrong, then every woman in the modelling industry has to resign to be labelled a 'good' lady. Even prostitutes would be slammed hard on this issue if it is wrong to show skin. Do we even grant women to make a choice? To me, it is very wrong for a woman to allow her body to be objectified and for a man to take advantage of any woman no matter how she dresses up. While I feel it is wrong to allow people to objectify us, ladies who are in the fashion line would feel that it is their profession and they would  stand up for their choice. At the end of the day, it is about giving woman the power to choose what they want and taking decisions based on their choice.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assaults


So after some time ranting on election fraudulent, I'm back to discuss this up as it has been on my draft lists for so long. 3 things that accelerates sexual assaults!

# 1 Ownership On Woman

When man and woman get married, the woman is often viewed as a possession. How many of you acknowledge woman who is forced to have sex with her husband as rape? That too is infringement on women's right and as society views woman as someone belonged to her husband, the man takes charge of everything and forces sex upon his wife outside her will. Woman on the other hand thinks that she is meant to satisfy her partner and gives in to her forceful husband.

# 2 Endowing Men The Authority

Society has long endowed men with the authority that allows them to take women for granted. This inevitably allows men to treat women the way they want and blame women for their misery. This is why men think it is okay to blame women for rapes. That includes women's behaviour and their dressing sense which are blamed for provoking sexual arousal on men.

# 3 Pornography

Why pornography? Because it has served as a platform to disseminate the above mentioned ideas. More often than not, women are objectified in pornography and they are being used merely as sex toys to please men on bed. Nothing more than that! 

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Marriage: Trading Sex For Money?


                                                  This picture tells you everything! 

Look around you and study the factors that drive people to get their partner? Found a similar trend?  This is what I'm going to talk about next!

          I agree financial status and looks play important roles in determining the choice we make for life partners. But, one can run out of money and beauty fades with time. We all know this fact, but still the majority of young men and women go for looks and money respectively. 

To What Extent Are Money and Looks Important?

             When women consider someone as life partners, we definitely pay importance to the financial security of a man. Most women say yes to a man who is able to provide food on table and a shelter above head. These are the basic needs in life. Apart from that, money is also needed to run a family, send kids to school and have decent standard of living.  It's hard to live without sufficient money in this world and the least a woman can do to take you as her partner is by considering a man's will to generate money to improve his living standard. I have had a man who isn't moving his ass to provide basic amenities so I know the pain of having an unsecured future in mind.
                 When men consider someone as life partners, they go for looks. I don't know about you reading this but I have seen so many of them putting looks on the top priority when it comes to choosing someone as their wife. Looks are important undeniably to be pleasant enough to the man's eyes and presentable to people addressing the woman as someone's wife. After all, men need some hot-looking girls to be introduced as their wife. This is how men and women basically think. 

What Happens When Looks and Money Overrule Love and Attitude?

                    So we know money and looks don't last. Attitude matters. The love for one's looks and money can die when the man runs out of money and the lady grows old which eventually fades her beauty. It looks pretty fake when someone falls in love for the money and looks. It's like cheating themselves. Marriage becomes like an union trading sex for wealth. As couples can't tolerate each others' attitude, they tend to live for the sake of marriage or kids or worse separate and find their own way. 
                   Good-looking women are hard to please with as they need to be showered with gifts and treats all the time. They just don't seem to take part in their men's difficulties. Some men even degrade women and label them as someone who comes after money. So ladies, money buys you and your looks? You sell your looks for money? Isn't turning out to be gross. It's no different than people selling sex for money! That makes us feel so cheap isn't?

Attitude Matters The Most

                    I feel it's essential to take time to get to know each other well and get to know their attitudes, their wants in life and their compatibility with our character. There should always be a way to glue your relationship up when it feels shattering any time soon. Good look and money aren't going to bring you anywhere. The will to look for money and make yourself presentable and beautiful is the key to any successful relationship. Screw that money and looks aside. Appreciate your partners for who they are!